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Wednesday: Besides, if you tear off your witty T-shirt, you can't then cross over into running gags.

[Otra fears the Man. From Girly.]I don't get it. But I understand. I swear, I do.

When a Man tears off his shirt in the course of fictional human events, he does it in order to demonstrate his Manly Strength Potential. (Not, however, his Manhood. That's a different show.)

It's a peacock display, using vestigial nipples instead of beautiful feathers. He shall impress at all costs, including replacement shirts. When a Man flexes his pecs, it's as though he spreads his tail. His lustrous, magnificent tail.

His splendidly lengthening tail.

But I digress.

[Reagan prepares to bust legs. From Shortpacked!.]The sheer range of expression available through this act is breathtaking. Take Ronald Reagan in 1 February's Shortpacked!. Man gets shot twice, then stands back up with nary an issue save blood. The gloves are coming off, except for that the gloves are his shirt, being plucked from red-blooded American nipples. His shirttails are the eagle's wings. We didn't need to see Ronald Reagan breaking legs. The chest alone, speckled by rounds, just bleeds aggression.

(Mind, you'd think he wouldn't want to be aerating those wounds. I suppose the combined spiritual energy of Rambo, Chuck Norris and Big Jim Slade was cleansing him, though. It always does.)

[Masochism! From Girly.]At the other end of the spectrum, this broad-hipped immortal from the same day's Girly demonstrates his notion of power. For him, it's not about what he can dish, but what he can take. In bearing up under duress, his is the strength of patience and submission. Thrash him, and he shall not bend. His is the strength of gods in the underworld, stripped and mutilated only to be reborn. As he rends his garment, so does he symbolically tear his flesh, offering himself willingly for sacrifice...

...

Man, I still don't get it. Aren't they cold?

Posted by Wednesday Burns-White at February 1, 2006 10:55 PM