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Eric: This was the night when I had had nothing.

There was nothing.

I went to the writing of things, and there were no things to be written.

It was like going to the big canister of cookies, but there were no cookies. Instead, there was some crumbs and a napkin at the bottom.

Wednesday says it's because I'm having my period. "Tell them," she said. "Tell them your menstruation has taken away your words!"

Achewood is good.

Penny Arcade's new site looks nice.

Questionable Content is absolutely fantastic recently.

VG Cats did a good strip too.

I miss Chex.

I'm going away now. Away and sleeping. And maybe tomorrow there will be words. Or cookies. I'm totally good for cookies.

Posted by Eric Burns-White at November 15, 2005 11:53 PM

Comments

Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 16, 2005 12:00 AM

Well, it's not just that he's having his period. It's that it's unusually heavy this month.

There are some things that he could do to deal with his cramping.

Comment from: Plaid Phantom posted at November 16, 2005 12:03 AM

Heck, if there's gonna be cookies, you'd better believe I'm not leaving the snack table. Because, as we all know, cookies are an ALWAYS food. (Apologies to a certain puppeteered children's character.)

Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 16, 2005 12:17 AM

WHAT are you implying about Cookie Monster? Don't tell me he's not real!

Comment from: Padre posted at November 16, 2005 12:33 AM

Hey, the In Nomine Core Rules are going up soon! That's snarkable, right?

Comment from: apieros posted at November 16, 2005 12:35 AM

Topic suggestions:

How about how much Ocean's Unmoving still...ah...um...sucks?

Comment from: J Ryan Beattie posted at November 16, 2005 12:36 AM

Of course he's real. However, sometimes they have to use a puppet when the real Cookie Monster is busy elsewhere, signing autographs for sick children, fighting crime in a mask and cape, or recuperating, as after the infamous '94 Christmas Brawl, when he and Santa Claus fought it out for the rights to a plateful of cookies and a tall, frosty glass of milk. Santa shook like a bowlful of jelly and stung like a bee. When the dust cleared, Cookie Monster had a concussion and three missing teeth. Santa had been battered by the monster's mighty cookie-hefting mitts, but he was triumphant. And thus was Christmas saved.

Comment from: Robert Hutchinson posted at November 16, 2005 12:36 AM

Cookie Monster is real.

It's just that he's not really eating the cookies. He just crumbles them up and drops them on the ground.

(Seriously, all I could think as a kid when I saw CM was "they couldn't cut a hole in his mouth"?)

Comment from: J Ryan Beattie posted at November 16, 2005 12:37 AM

Also, I don't think he's saying that he doesn't have anything to write about. He has things to write about, and he listed some. He's just unable to make the words flow.

Comment from: jjacques posted at November 16, 2005 12:38 AM

Haha, you said "flow".

Comment from: William_G posted at November 16, 2005 12:38 AM

Maybe, Eric... Just maybe you're subconsciously realizing that the "webcomic critics validate webcomics and their readers" movement that you pretty much helped launch is like putting a silk dress on a pig. And you really just want to enjoy reading webcomics instead of having to act as the big-name emotional crutch that says "You are so not wasting your time at work reading this stuff." I mean, look at what happened when you moved away from doing so.

Though I could be assuming.

Comment from: Robert Hutchinson posted at November 16, 2005 12:40 AM

like putting a silk dress on a pig.

But she hardly shows up at all on Sesame Street.

Comment from: The posted at November 16, 2005 12:46 AM

hey, Oceans Unmoving has gotten better since Pete's open letter, what with its new "damn the exposition!" attitude. It feels like Sluggy again. Not necessarily good Sluggy (opinion will always differ), but Sluggy nonetheless. And I liked the worshiping of Father Time tickled me.

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at November 16, 2005 12:46 AM

No, it's a lot more than my eyeballs hurt.

Comment from: The posted at November 16, 2005 12:47 AM

crap, please subtract the tickled me from that statement, I hit post by accident

Comment from: Alexis Christoforides posted at November 16, 2005 12:49 AM

Achewood: Achewood.

Penny Arcade: the largest Ruby on Rails site. Noticeably faster.

Questionable Content: OMG AWESOME ARTWORK

VG Cats: What comic? I still see the (funny) filler. I now hate the Playstation 2.

Chex: Waaaaah!

apieros - Oceans Unmoving seems to be oscillating between "interesting enough ignore the bad jokes and keep reading" and "I hate the Caribs or whatever they're called".

Going to bed too. Take care folks!

Comment from: Archon Divinus posted at November 16, 2005 12:54 AM

Oceans Unmoving just gets more confussing with each passing day. A little while ago I re-read part one, and everything made enough sense, but now with part two i'm confused all over again. I like Oceans Unmoving well enough, I just hope it will end really, really soon.

Comment from: Chris Daily posted at November 16, 2005 12:59 AM

That link, Wednesday, is incredible amusing, particularly the captions of some of those women.
just change "I give myself a back massage" to: "I dislocate my shoulders and imitate avian clucking movements!"

Comment from: lucastds posted at November 16, 2005 1:02 AM

Achewood: don't read it.

Penny Arcade: don't read it.

Questionable Content: artwork shows improvement recently. a new angle for faye's face yesterday.

VG Cats: don't read it.

checkerboard - don't read it.


wait a second... i don't read most of the comic eric reads. why am i on here? oh yeah, he's a good writer.

Comment from: lucastds posted at November 16, 2005 1:02 AM

^ unlike me... apparently i can't pluralize words.

Comment from: kirabug posted at November 16, 2005 1:03 AM

Maybe it's just the wrong time of day. All the NaNo words in my brain have apparently decided they don't like to play until after 10:30 pm. Which would be fine if I wasn't due to work until 10:30, my normal schedule, but I have training tomorrow at 9....

bad words. bad bad.

Comment from: Tice with a J posted at November 16, 2005 1:12 AM

You know, if I had nothing, I would say, "I got nothing", but no, you have to wax eloquent on nothing. You had nothing, and you worked with it and made something. This fills me with envy.

Comment from: DocN posted at November 16, 2005 1:21 AM

Am I the only one that still likes Sluggy these days?

Abrams has mastered a unique form of comic- it alternates between deadly serious and lighthearted absurdity at the drop of a scaled-down pirate hat, and manages to both remain consistent and toss endless plot twists at the reader.

I like it. It's a webcomic. I don't expect Shakespeare or Wordsworth, what I expect is a strip every day (barring the occasional glitch) and for that strip to be readable. Either funny (usually) clever (constantly) or at least advancing the plot (almost always.)

Abrams writes better than about 93% of webcomics out there, and his works are unique. How many Penny Arcade ripoffs are there? How many "furry teen in his/her first year of college" strips are there? How many MegaTokyo wannabes? How many roleplaying-based/D&D-based strips are there?

Doc.

Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 16, 2005 1:52 AM

Maybe, Eric... Just maybe

...dude, the guy's having the heaviest period of his life. Webcomics don't make you have periods. I think you need to know that.

Let's all chip in and get the poor man a Mirena.

Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 16, 2005 1:55 AM

Am I the only one that still likes Sluggy these days?

Yes. See, here's the thing: all those Sluggy fans are lying.

It's not that they're lying about being Sluggy fans; it's that they don't actually exist. They're making themselves up. Really, they're all this one guy in New Jersey? This one guy who just doesn't sleep enough? He just hits shift-refresh over and over and over again.

Luckily, he bulk-orders stuff from Plan 9.

Comment from: gwalla posted at November 16, 2005 2:15 AM

Questionable Content is sex. (Also, Raven is correct about the monkeys and liquor. I speak from experience here.)

Comment from: Ray Radlein posted at November 16, 2005 2:24 AM

There are some things that he could do to deal with his cramping.

Bloody infinite canvas.

Comment from: Ardaniel posted at November 16, 2005 2:31 AM

Questionable Content/ other Jeph strips: Jeph draws the best tits, boobies, tits, and boobies on teh Intarwebs. ;)

Penny Arcade: If the new site infrastructure works for them, I hope their sysadmins write an article or two about securing a Ruby on Rails installation of that size. Rails has always had a "your security is your problem" approach that causes me to quail somewhat.

Comment from: PO8 posted at November 16, 2005 3:10 AM

Eric, over at A Miracle of Science (http://www.project-apollo.net/mos/), one of my very favorite strips, Clarice just got zapped with Dr. Haas's Martian death ray. The kind that causes death to Martians, not the other way around. This is arguably the climax panel of a 200+ panel graphic SF novel with great writing and great art. Might be worth a look.

Comment from: PO8 posted at November 16, 2005 3:12 AM

#@$! What is it with me lately?!? Caprice, not Clarice. Caprice. I guess this'll teach me to comment sober.

Anyway, the comic is worth a look, even if I can't get the names right.

Comment from: miyaa posted at November 16, 2005 3:42 AM

1. I suppose it could be worse for Eric. He could be having an apostrophe. Or having problems with his semicolons.

2. Jeph, you'd be making money hand over fist if you offered to sell scantily clad illustrations of Faye, Raven, Dora, or any of your QC ladies for, oh, say $15 a copy? (There, I said it.)

3. The problem with Cookie Monster these days is that they're making him say things like moderation is okay, and it's okay to eat cauliflower instead of cookies. Listen, if I wanted to listen to a mythical creature talk about the virtues of a healthy diet when I was a kid, I would have watched either Mr. Goodbody or Richard Simmons.

Comment from: Daerv posted at November 16, 2005 3:56 AM

Cauliflower is never okay.

Comment from: William_G posted at November 16, 2005 5:10 AM

Webcomics don't make you have periods. I think you need to know that.
What? Have you read those things lately?
Questionable Content: artwork shows improvement recently. a new angle for faye's face yesterday.
As the TABB folks say: "Burnsauce!"

Comment from: Kate Sith posted at November 16, 2005 8:19 AM

Dude, COOKIES.

...I just got all distracted.

Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 16, 2005 8:37 AM

Okay. He's Mr. Major Surgery, I'm insulin resistance girl. Who's got a cookie recipe that we both can eat without dying?

(I am a very *bad* insulin resistance girl, but would rather save my peril for cabernet carmenere this week.)

Comment from: Paul Gadzikowski posted at November 16, 2005 9:15 AM

Okay - the guy runs a blog, and he writes about not being able to write, and within eight hours - overnight - there are thirty-plus comments from people out to entertain him.

What a cool scam.

Comment from: J.(Channing)Wells posted at November 16, 2005 10:05 AM

Nothing isn't always a bad thing.

Comment from: Dave Van Domelen posted at November 16, 2005 10:05 AM

1. Manstruation.

2. I don't like the visuals of the PA redesign. Buttons are too small, and the style sheets or whatever the hell they're using aren't compliant with either of the browsers I use, so text overflows the sections regularly. And they're more tightly controlling text size from their side, so my default "large enough to actually read" fonts are ignored in favor of tinier type.

Comment from: Sandalphon posted at November 16, 2005 10:40 AM

1. Eric's post and its enjoyable comments are proof that something can come from nothing, King Lear aside.
2. I found the first installment of "Oceans Unmoving" rather confusing, even though I read it all at once (I joined in late last spring). But I'm really enjoying the current installment, reading it one per day. There's more humour (the caribous are hilarious), no convoluted metaphysical exposition, and some of Pete's best art yet. But as Weds notes, as a Sluggy fan I'm non-existent, so please take the above with a grain of salt. :-)
3. If I'm non-existent...does that mean I don't have to shave?

Comment from: InkBlot posted at November 16, 2005 11:13 AM

Hey, Eric, could you snark Wapsi for us? 'Cause I can't figure out what's going on to save my life. I'd love to know if it's just me.

Comment from: siwangmu posted at November 16, 2005 11:26 AM

Penny Arcade right now represents one of the largest implementations of "rails" on the intertron. I went and looked at a website about rails and then I got a headache. From what I gathered itĚs either some kind of cutting edge programming language, or a way to liquefy a manĚs brain inside his skull.
(Gabe)

1. Ha! This was funny, thought I'd share.
2. Dude, Penny Arcade are totally the generally-less-erudite you. (Also, more obsessed with things I find boring to read about, like tech things and games I haven't heard of (don't note, for reference, how many times I've read about those same sorts of things here, although I did give up on trying to care about word processors :-p)) Or I'm imagining the stylistic similarity of the humor on account of how I think they're both funny so they must be the same.

Comment from: siwangmu posted at November 16, 2005 11:34 AM

Also: the title reads "this was the night when I had had nothing," which led me to expect throughout the post that you were going to suddenly have something, because otherwise, dude, what is going on with that grammar?

Comment from: Archon Divinus posted at November 16, 2005 11:34 AM

Hey, I still love Sluggy, I'm just having a hard time kepping track of whats going on in Oceans Unmoving for more than a couple strips at a time.

Comment from: HydrogenGuy posted at November 16, 2005 11:58 AM

Oceans Unmoving leaves me unmoved.

I am lonely for Chex. I want him wrecking havoc across the internet. William G is like Chex, only less lovable, so it's not quite the same.

I want a T-shirt that says "cookies are an always food".

Comment from: siwangmu posted at November 16, 2005 12:49 PM

"William G is like Chex, only less lovable, so it's not quite the same."

I don't know William G. even a tenth as well as I do Chex, so please don't imply agreement or diagreement from this, but Hah! That was hilarious.

Comment from: Tice with a J posted at November 16, 2005 1:30 PM

I also highly recommend A Miracle of Science, a webcomic daring enough to portray mad scientists with psychological accuracy and skilled enough to pull off a story crammed with hard sci-fi while still bringing the occasional funny.

Comment from: J.(Channing)Wells posted at November 16, 2005 3:39 PM

Oh, and I'd also like to go on the record and say that menstruation -- along with all its attendant handmaidens -- is quite possibly the worst idea ever. Thanks, evolution!

Comment from: William_G posted at November 16, 2005 4:49 PM

I guess I better get a robot sidekick and become strenuously anti-intellectual then...

Comment from: larksilver posted at November 16, 2005 6:07 PM

ahhhh, if only my nothings were so much somethings. Me? When I've nothing, I've nothing. Yeesh.

No cookies for you, darlin'. Cookies bad for Erics, on account of the sugars and stuffs. But you can have all the words you want! Take mine, please! They're bored out of their minds with my drivel. See?

Comment from: siwangmu posted at November 16, 2005 7:40 PM

Well, come on, who doesn't need to get a robot sidekick?

Comment from: Paul Gadzikowski posted at November 16, 2005 9:04 PM

Who's got a cookie recipe that we both can eat without dying?

My wife the diabetic suggests the Splenda or Equal websites, if any. And if she encounters anything she'll pass it to me to pass on.

Comment from: apieros posted at November 17, 2005 8:59 AM

Well, since I ignited the flare war (like a flame war, but less heat), I guess I'll respond.

I started reading Sluggy in March of 2001. I read that days strip and a couple of previous ones. Then I went back and started to read the whole thing from the beginning. In 20 minutes I went from "never heard of it" to "read it every day." (And I have, every day since then.)

Over the course of the next few days, I read 4 years worth of strips, one at a time. Summoning Satan. The cute pet. Bikini Suicide Frisbee. Muffin, the Vampire Baker. Aylee. Oasis. K'z'k. Etc. Not to gainsay the inimitable and undoubtedly beautiful Weds, but I am a Sluggy fan.

That Which Redeems? Rocked. Hard. I guess I could come up with a more flowery way of expressing that, but that's exactly how I feel.

Oceans unmoving? Didn't lose me. I understood it, I just hated it. Slow, ponderous, utterly lacking in any Sluggy characters (except Bun-bun). The caribs annoyed me at first, now I just loathe them. (I've got a secret bet with myself that they're descendants of Santa's reindeer who got lost in timeless space. I'm probably wrong, but that's my bet.)

Punier? Too jarring (as Eric noted already). Annoying.

And now Unmoving 2. It's like homework, like sitting in the doctor's office. If Pete posted a day it'd all be over, I'd sign off until then.

Sluggy has been a reliable source of the funny. Now, it's just slow and painful. I weep for the last year I've spent reading this damn thing.

Eric has hope. Me? I hope the real Sluggy returns. Soon.

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