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Eric: I think there should be gigantic legs representative of "Mom" from Two Lumps in the picture, too. But what do I know?
It's been quite a while since Randy Milholland dared his readership to rent him for a year. Over a year in fact. (So I figure there's just two and a half more years before people who didn't donate to him during the drive stop accusing him of not giving his fans their money's worth, but I digress.) Since that time, we've had several folks made the grand attempt to replicate the drive, even in a small way.
Well, there's another one out there now, but it's... well, slightly different. Because it's James Grant. And James Grant is like no one else.
Let me make a side-trip here for a second. I like Grant's work. I like it a lot. I like FLEM! I like Two Lumps. I own, read and enjoyed Pedestrian Wolves. I own, read and enjoyed Timmy Kat. I have serious history with Grant. I have legitimate Grant cred.
This is despite the fact that if we ever met, J. Grant would kick my ass.
It would be nothing personal, mind. James Grant has absolutely nothing against me. We've had some good conversations. I interviewed he and his writing/creative partner Mel Hynes for Comixpedia, and it went well. I think if someone else were kicking my ass, he'd run in with a tire iron and beat them until their bones were rubbery and inconsistent.
But, if we ever met in a bar, he'd look me up and down, get a funny expression on his face, and say "look, I have to kick your ass now. Everything about you demands I kick your ass."
And I'll acknowledge the necessity and proceed to get my ass kicked. I'll do my level best to fight back, but honestly, who am I kidding.
That's as may be.
The drive comes for a sadly good reason -- he's being laid off, along with a lot of other folks in his company. And it seems to him it's time to make a hardcore attempt to do the art thing full time. And, as with many others, he's got a pretty substantial readership -- enough of one that if each person on it donated two bucks he'd more than make his goal.
His donation page shows the gift he's sending out to people who donate -- it's a nine by twelve print that features... well, pretty much all the main characters we've come to associate with him. Sure, there's Jay, and the men and women of the Jay storyline. And Ebenezer and Snooch from Two Lumps. But there's also Timmy Kat and his friend, and Angry Patriot Boy. There's the Duck. (Fucking duck.) And of course, Hank the Dancing Abortion getting his groove on.
In addition to the gift, he's pledged to move FLEM to three or five days a week depending on the totals he manages to get. His top total is twenty eight thousand, four hundred (which is significantly less than his current salary, but is a living wage for him), which will move him to do his thing at least until June and possibly start a new strip. Which, well, I for one would like to see.
Is all this possible?
I dunno.
I said a while ago that there were just so many webcartoonists who could pull off a Milholland Drive (I know, I'm going to Hell). After a while, the novelty wears off and the fanbase runs out of cash.
At the same time... FLEM fans are rabid and sick, and unlike most other fandoms. Somehow, I don't think they spent their money subscribing to the Norm. So it might be an untapped demographic.
All I know is this -- James Grant got some of my cash. I'd like to see him succeed. And someday, I'd like to buy the man a drink.
And proceed to get my ass kicked. Hey, I'm a realist, if nothing else.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at November 17, 2005 8:52 PM
Comments
Comment from: Lyndon W posted at November 17, 2005 9:02 PM
Maybe you should start wearing some padding on a regular basis, just to be safe.
Comment from: Danalog posted at November 17, 2005 9:06 PM
"Milholland Drive"
You might get your ass kicked for just that statement, eh?
Comment from: Archon Divinus posted at November 17, 2005 9:13 PM
Just out of curriosity, doesn't this give everyone the right to kick your ass on general principal, or what?
Comment from: Dorkboy posted at November 17, 2005 9:21 PM
I try not to be too flagrant in the few comments I've posted here but....
OH FUCK YES!
Look at it this way kids, for only 5$ you get yourself a glossy print for the wall with your favorite cats, and JAY and his cast.
That's a DEAL right there.
Not to mention my NEED to help out a man such as that. I used to donate to various comics every week. Then a certain, well established, popular, artist ran a donation, and then proceeded to be just GONE for about six months. So that kind of took the edge off of it.
Since then I've been trying to help out the struggling guys more, Mookie of Dominic Deegan as an example (great guy).
Now's my chance to help a kickass artist, that NEEDS help, and is GIVING BACK. I'm TOTALLY there. I think I'll probably give him 20$ and mentally wrap the other 15$ up as a christmas present to the webcomics world.
\/\/
Comment from: William_G posted at November 17, 2005 10:43 PM
Then a certain, well established, popular, artist ran a donation, and then proceeded to be just GONE for about six months. So that kind of took the edge off of it.
This artist wouldn't happen to be fond of a certain Korean foodstuff, would he?
Comment from: John Lynch posted at November 17, 2005 11:04 PM
After a while, the novelty wears off and the fanbase runs out of cash.That's why it pays to advertise outside of the webcomic community.
Comment from: Dan Severn posted at November 17, 2005 11:10 PM
It seems like more and more artists are making the jump to being professional webcartoonists.
And it's easy to see why. There simply is no better job on Earth. I mean, I am assuming no one actually gets paid to oil down bikini models.
I've glanced at two lumps before. Now I think I should check out his other work.
Comment from: Phil Kahn posted at November 17, 2005 11:46 PM
I just had to participate as well. Why? Three simple words:
Orange Motherfucking Mohawks.
Comment from: Abby L. posted at November 18, 2005 12:25 AM
I said a while ago that there were just so many webcartoonists who could pull off a Milholland Drive (I know, I'm going to Hell). After a while, the novelty wears off and the fanbase runs out of cash.
I'm gonna PUN-ch you. >:(
Comment from: Dorkboy posted at November 18, 2005 1:42 AM
"This artist wouldn't happen to be fond of a certain Korean foodstuff, would he?" (i know there's the fancy quote block, but i'm about DEAD from sickness here, sue me.)
This artist had returned, started ANOTHER comic, and then sporadically updated his pet projects for about a year, and a bit ago (months? year?) decided to take it ALL down and now has a (somewhat crappy) blog at his old site.
Mr Smith.
\/\/
Comment from: Alexis Christoforides posted at November 18, 2005 3:08 AM
What I am beginning to worry about is a professional webcomic bubble burst. While the Internet economy is much more stable nowadays (free webcomics are not going anywhere, fo' sure), in the webcomic subculture there is a gathering of conditions that is frightengly familiar: Too many sellers, and a shaky business model.
And when I say "shaky" I don't mean that Penny Arcade will go bankrupt because of t-shirt saturation or anything. I'm just saying that selling related apparel doesn't work for all comics. It works extremely well for QC (I know I bought one) but I can't think of a, say, Ugly Hill t-shirt I'd want to buy (and right now I wish I could go back in time and buy a fuckload of Chex merch I didn't really care about). Also, Google Ads don't work equally well for everyone, it seems (we are also assuming that the Google wizards are actually keeping the model sustainable for the forseeable future)
Perhaps it's time for webcomics to break into the mainstream somehow. It's amazing that there are so many talented people producing extremely high quality content, and it's a shame that I can't see how the current model can support them. Maybe micropayments fell through, but the current system isn't exactly working for everyone.
(Worst-case-scenario: Everyone adjusts their creation to be an optimal source for catch-phrases, cute animals and funny PG-13 double entendres)
Dorkboy - If that is Sean 'Squidi' Howard you're talking about (I don't know if 'Mr.Smith' there is you or the artist in question), the blog is more than somewhat crappy, if you start from the earlier entries. It is pseudo-intellectual, self-important, hateful bile.
And Mookie? Awesome dude. Great comic, too!
Comment from: jjacques posted at November 18, 2005 6:32 AM
I'm not at all certain we've hit the "too many sellers" saturation point yet. From what I can tell, there's much less reader overlap from comic to comic than most people think. Most people read one or two webcomics, tops, and don't keep up with (let alone buy merchandise from) more than that.
Of course, there are plenty of people who buy merchandise and donate to all kinds of different strips (and how thankful for those folks we all are!), but all my research indicates that they're a minority in terms of actual readership and overall merchandise buyer base.
If you've got a good-sized readership and have a decent eye for cute merchandise designs, you can make money. Might not necessarily be enough to live on, but for some people it will be.
Comment from: GiannaM posted at November 18, 2005 7:10 AM
"After a while, the novelty wears off and the fanbase runs out of cash."
That's the big gamble, isn't it? There is a grey area between the big webcomics that become the authors' source of income and the small ones with readership in the hundreds, of comic authors who have a large enough readership to be able to make money from the comic, but who'd take a step in the dark and possibly all the way off the cliff if they tried to live out of it. The problem is that it's hard to tell if you can do it until you've tried - and it's very hard to find the time to try if you have to keep your day job at the same time.
I'm haunted by this brief experience that I had one or two months ago. I decided to put a donation bar and draw an extra strip a week for every 100 dollars. The next day the bar had filled, so I took it down and did an extra strip. The following week, I put up the bar again, and it filled in two days. Repeat.
Now, the problem with this is that I work fulltime, have lots of other stuff going on, and a strip takes me about 12 hours of work to draw and colour. I was utterly burned out after two weeks of extra drawing, so I gave up on the donation bar.
However I keep thinking, would that have lasted indefinitely? Would I really be able to make a hundred bucks out of the blue just by uploading that link on my page? Can I LIVE out of this stuff? I guess that as Eric said, people would have been bored of the novelty after a short while and the donations would have slowed down and eventually stopped.
To be honest, I'm too old and cautious to find out. I have a mortgage and bills to pay and all that, so I keep treating my comic as a hobby and doing it at a semi-leisurely pace, but it's a constant thought at the back of my mind that I could do more and earn much more with it.
I think that trying to live off making comics is like parenthood, something that is easier to do when you're young and full of energy.
Comment from: Paul Gadzikowski posted at November 18, 2005 8:08 AM
I think that trying to live off making comics is like parenthood, something that is easier to do when you're young and full of energy.
Second that. I was 44 when I started Arthur, King of Time and Space and realized from the start that there was no way I was willing to give up my day job and the retirement benefits. I say in my FAQ that I suspect I'll offer some type of swag one day, at least print or CD collections, but more and more I find all I'm really interested in is drawing the bloody cartoon till 2029, by which time I ought to be living off those retirement accounts. I don't even have a Paypal button. Just a new cartoon every day.
Comment from: J.(Channing)Wells posted at November 18, 2005 9:25 AM
Archon D.:
I believe that the right to kick Eric's ass is a inherent, inalienable, God-given one. No special action on his part is needed to give us that right.
Comment from: 32_footsteps posted at November 18, 2005 9:37 AM
Of course, it's given in different ways, for each of us. See, I'm resigned to the fact that I have to kick Eric's ass in video games - but not any of the SoulCalibur series, because he plays those alot more than me and I probably couldn't.
Comment from: J.(Channing)Wells posted at November 18, 2005 10:34 AM
It should be comforting to know, though, that even though you may be unable to kick Eric's ass in some things, your right to do so remains unchanged.
Comment from: siwangmu posted at November 18, 2005 10:46 AM
Man, I don't have any idea whether I should say "Paul" or "Mr. Gadzikowski" when I'm addressing you... I just always think of you as "Paul Gadzikowski" cuz that's your namething.
Anyway, I just wanted to mention, a week or so ago I finally said to myself "Hey, how come you never checked out that Arthur comic PG is always talking about?"
Then I checked it out.
Then I did my first all-night archive crawl in a long, long time.
Damn you! I love it with buckets and buckets of love. Although I do think your argument about your art being low-res is selling yourself short and I think your pre-mspaint drawings must be very beautiful. I'm sure you've heard all that before, so I'll hush now, but damn.
I loves it. And you love Mists, which I haven't read since Jr. High but was Formative Literature (I know, I was a little young for it, but so sue me, I'm sure I'm warped now).
Comment from: Paul Gadzikowski posted at November 18, 2005 11:54 AM
Man, I don't have any idea whether I should say "Paul" or "Mr. Gadzikowski" when I'm addressing you...
Paul will do. We're all adults here. Or, at least we're all equally adult.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from: Eric Burns posted at November 18, 2005 12:05 PM
Paul will do. We're all adults here. Or, at least we're all equally adult.
And that's when the boom-chakka music began playing in the background.
Comment from: 32_footsteps posted at November 18, 2005 12:25 PM
I always just call him "Paul" because I know I'll butcher his last name, and I know the pain of seeing your last name misspelled all too well.
That, and it's weird to hear yourself called "Mr. So-and-so." I know my dad hasn't gotten used to it yet, and he's in his late 40s. The strangest, though, was the one time a kid called me "Mr. Footsteps." In a forum where my real name was not just known but plastered on nearly everything I wrote. Bewildering, to say the least.
Comment from: flemco posted at November 18, 2005 12:25 PM
Well, so far this thread is entertaining.
First off, I am curious as to who this comic author was who took the money and ran. Aside from a few strips I read religiously, I don't really keep up all that much in Webcomic news anymore. No time, heh. Heck, I just found out Checkerboard Nightmare is done last night.
I, too, am deathly afraid of failure here due to the "webcomic bubble bursting." Randy succeeded ultimately because he had a SHIT-TON of fans.... but also because this was somewhat novel. This is why I'm doing the "Thank You" print and offering various levels of increased comic output depending on how much is raised.
The right to kick Eric's ass is, unfortunately, not a God-given one in my eyes. Such rights are the creations of men, and as such, the right to kick his ass may not be recognized in 500 years, at which point I figure they'll defrost him from cryogenesis and let him die a natural death. But at this point in time, it is a right - and i say that all good Americans should exercise that right.
PG seems to hit one of my major issues here right on the head: Due to my advanced age and upcoming senior-citizenship, I have to be careful if I'm going to live off my art. If I'd done this when I was 20, hell... I made all of $18K that year. It would be a snap. But I'm an old man now, and old men have big bills. I have medical insurance to pay, by court order, as well as child support. Without at the very most basic covering those, I go to jail (at which point there will be NO comics, har har har). This is not to say I'm destitute - far from it. Even without the donations I would get by. The difference is that I'm asking my fans to give me a chance to increase my output - by at least 4x, if my days off from punching a clock are any indication.
Thanks for the pimping, yo. Let's see if my fans can do it.
Comment from: larksilver posted at November 18, 2005 12:35 PM
Wow.. Paul is like uber-grown-up man. (Note, I didn't say "old!" My S.O. is 42, I like grown-ups!) whee!
Siwangmu: I read the Mists at 9? or 10? Re-read it, and re-read it. Carried that big honkin' book around with me for months. It was so completely unlike anything I'd read before. MZB may be a crotchety ol' gal, but that book was incredible.
Still.. I do like the Mary Stewart version of the life of Merlin, but then, I read those first. So.. /shrug
Comment from: J.(Channing)Wells posted at November 18, 2005 1:47 PM
Paul will do. We're all adults here. Or, at least we're all equally adult.And that's when the boom-chakka music began playing in the background.
Don't make me come over there and exercise my rights on you, Burns.
Comment from: bartles69 posted at November 18, 2005 3:15 PM
Larksilver,
best Merlin ever is Mike Resnick's from Winter Solstice (found in the short-story compilation Will The Last Person To Leave The Planet Please Shut Off The Sun?), a deeply moving story in which Merlin has rapidly advancing Alzheimer's.
Comment from: Ununnilium posted at November 18, 2005 3:50 PM
Wow, I've actually read that one. It was... interesting.
Comment from: Archon Divinus posted at November 18, 2005 4:09 PM
Wait, now we're saying that the right to kick Eric's ass is only for Americans? As a Canadian, I demand my right to kick Eric's ass.
Comment from: Lyndon W posted at November 18, 2005 4:25 PM
I believe it is in order for the UN to guarantee that the right of Eric ass kickingness be an unalienable universal right applied to all humans around the world.
Comment from: 32_footsteps posted at November 18, 2005 4:27 PM
I think, thanks to NAFTA, Canadians also get the right to kick Eric's ass, and without having to pay a tariff. However, people from other countries have to give a kickback to the government first - you have to kick their ass before you can kick Eric's ass.
This, of course, is on top of the extra ass you have to kick for standard taxes in your state. Given how tax-free New Hampshire, where Eric lives, maintains itself, though, you may wish to travel there for duty-free ass-kicking.
Comment from: Archon Divinus posted at November 18, 2005 4:36 PM
Yeah, but NAFTA hasn't stopped the US from charging tariffs in the past, especially when it might affect America's industries in some way. They might not want non-Americans kicking Eric's ass, because that would mean less Americans would have the chance to do so, and thus, they would make a tariff.
Comment from: Lyndon W posted at November 18, 2005 4:42 PM
However, the Eric ass kicking industry would promote tourism in the States, since these foreign ass kickers would need places to sleep, cars to rent, etc.
Comment from: Archon Divinus posted at November 18, 2005 4:47 PM
Rising demand to kick Eric's ass will result in the legalisation of human cloning so there will be more Eric's to kick.
Comment from: 32_footsteps posted at November 18, 2005 4:57 PM
Well, keep in mind that the ass-kicking is not necessarily the physical act of placing one's foot on Eric's posterior, forcefully. There are many kinds of ass-kicking, as has been previously established in the case of Footsteps v. Burns, decided on Whenever Eric Lets Me Know He's In Boston. Due to this, cloning might not need to happen as he can get his ass kicked in several ways at once.
That's not even getting into the ethics of cloning just to have more ass to kick versus cloning to give more people the chance to kick ass.
Comment from: flemco posted at November 18, 2005 4:57 PM
For every dollar donated, I will deliver one kick to Eric's ass.*
*no.
Comment from: Archon Divinus posted at November 18, 2005 5:01 PM
Why would someone pay to have someone else kick Eric's ass. People are going to want to actually kick it themselves. On the other hand, the elderly who want to kick Eric's ass, but are unable to do so would probably pay you to do it for them, so you might make money out of this afterall.
Comment from: cyco posted at November 18, 2005 5:07 PM
The problem is oversaturing the "Kick Eric's Ass" market. Eventually his ass will be kicked so much that there will be little to no satisfaction to be gotten from further kicking.
I suggest a system of "microkickings." Substitute quantity of kicks for quality, so that in the end Eric's ass will be kicked by many more people, albeit with less force applied to each kick.
Comment from: Lyndon W posted at November 18, 2005 5:07 PM
The resulting kicks will be filmed and sent out to the donors, of course.
Comment from: flemco posted at November 18, 2005 5:12 PM
BEENZ FOR KICKS
Comment from: larksilver posted at November 18, 2005 5:29 PM
bartles69: I haven't seen that one, may have to go look it up.
Ass-kicking aficionados: uhm... I'm a bit surprised our Weds hasn't joined in here. Last I heard, the kicking of Eric's ass was her job, and the rest of the world, well, didn't have permission.
Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 18, 2005 5:32 PM
I can't tell you how alarming it is to come in on an entire thread of people talking about their plans for my boyfriend's ass. Possibly going back to sleep might be a plan here.
Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 18, 2005 5:33 PM
... heh, timing.
I've been asleep. Yes, I've been asleep since sometime yesterday, give or take an hour or two of incoherent eating and staring at screens.
Comment from: Robert Hutchinson posted at November 18, 2005 5:50 PM
Pssst ... you're in not-America. You can just tell us it's 8 AM where you are. We'll buy it.
(Offer not valid in not-America. Prizes and participation may vary. For free game piece, send a SASE to "Kick Eric's Ass", care of this station.)
Comment from: larksilver posted at November 18, 2005 5:54 PM
But at least you weren't eating incoherent screens while sleeping, right?
I do hope the miscreant that's causing the incoherency and need for lots of sleep gets kicked out soon. heh.
Comment from: Lyndon W posted at November 18, 2005 5:58 PM
It's the third posters fault.
Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 18, 2005 6:22 PM
I do hope the miscreant that's causing the incoherency and need for lots of sleep gets kicked out soon.
... what, the National Health Service? Not bloody likely.
(I maintain an unorthodox schedule to begin with. To make two unrelated appointments in the past two weeks, I ended up shorting myself quite badly on sleep two days last week and this week. It just caught up with me, and I'm not sure that I won't be sleeping again tonight. And before the obvious conclusion is drawn, the bulk of Blue Screen was complete before this happened. Part One, however, was not.)
Comment from: quiller posted at November 18, 2005 7:47 PM
Hmm, so Eric has been losing weight. Presumably a decent portion of that is his ass. So there is getting to be less and less of it to kick. Therefore... limited time offer, while supplies last, kicking Eric's ass! subjecttoavailability notavailableinallareas yourmileagemayvary notforuseasafloatationdevice donothandlenearopenflame donottaunthappyfunball.
Comment from: Eric Burns posted at November 18, 2005 7:49 PM
Actually, I've never had any ass to speak of.
At my fattest? No damn ass.
Which was trouble, really. I had all this weight, and no ass to cushion it. Wooden chairs hurt like Hell.
These days, they're okay. Though I have no ass.
However, I trust in Grant's skill at kicking it, despite the challenge.
Comment from: Lyndon W posted at November 18, 2005 7:55 PM
While I hate to say it, I will leave the ass kicking to the paid professionals.
Comment from: 32_footsteps posted at November 18, 2005 9:05 PM
I understand your assless pain, Eric. For I, too, have no ass, and must constantly shift my weight to keep it from getting sore while seated.
Damned diminished glutes.
Comment from: kirabug posted at November 18, 2005 11:17 PM
The strangest, though, was the one time a kid called me "Mr. Footsteps." In a forum where my real name was not just known but plastered on nearly everything I wrote. Bewildering, to say the least.
Which is exactly why it's so weird when folks here call me Kira when everyone else calls me bug. But I kinda like it, fun having so many different personas.
Actually, I've never had any ass to speak of.
I'm torn between responding with:
the fat joke: "Eric, I've got plenty of extra ass on my ass, we can do an ass-transplant if this deficiency is bothering you."
and
the sex joke: "Wow, Weds, sorry to hear that!"
so I'll let y'all pick whatever you prefer.
Comment from: http://larksilver.blogspot.com posted at November 19, 2005 12:11 AM
See, even when I was thin, I had the opposite problem. I'm short, and went one day from normal pre-pubescent-girl-shaped to a C-cup and a broad backside. Wasn't fat, either.. I just, well, there I was, not even 5 feet tall yet, and too much ass.
I think I'd rather have an ass than a big tummy though. At least, before I had the baby and got a tummy, I could pretend the ass wasn't there most of the time. heh.
Comment from: gwalla posted at November 19, 2005 2:24 AM
I like big butts and I cannot lie...
Comment from: Ray Radlein posted at November 19, 2005 4:08 AM
Hmmm. "I Have No Ass and I Must Sit"? Nope. Still doesn't beat 'Nose' and 'Sneeze' in the Ellison MadLibs of my brain.
Comment from: Ray Radlein posted at November 19, 2005 4:38 AM
First off, I am curious as to who this comic author was who took the money and ran.
From his hints, I'm 98.75% sure that Dorkboy is talking about Barry Smith, whose Angst Technology was one of my favorite "Geek Workplace Humor" strips for several years (and, checking my computer, it appears to have been on hiatus for, yep, six months or so, from September 2003 until April 2004).
His regular featured "Check out this neat artist/webcomic" sidebar was also the place I discovered several of my favorite comics, including (in back-to-back months in 2003) Acid Keg and Wapsi Square.
Hell, I half feel like sending him a few bucks now myself, just for that.
Comment from: Wednesday White posted at November 19, 2005 5:49 AM
the sex joke: "Wow, Weds, sorry to hear that!"
Pegging not mandatory in all relationships, &c.
Comment from: kirabug posted at November 19, 2005 10:49 AM
Pegging not mandatory in all relationships, &c.
Oh, absolutely not mandatory. But here was a perfectly good line just sitting out there waiting for someone to hang a joke on...
It's the fact that you've both proven (to this member of the audience anyway) that you're intelligent and independent enought to do what's right for you that the joke works. It would not work with, for example, my cousin, who bangs any male with a pulse, because hell, there'd be no opportunity for a "he hasn't any ass to speak of" joke in any of her relationships to begin with.
Comment from: larksilver posted at November 21, 2005 2:08 AM
Pegging. what an.. odd way of putting it. It's somehow so descriptive and yet so vague.
Of course, for my strange little noggin, it also conjures up (AUGH) images of (HELP ME) pirate garb and peg legs, with roleplay as appropriate of plunder, and booty. Can I have those brain cells back now? OW! The image, it burns, it burns!
Comment from: larksilver posted at November 21, 2005 11:21 AM
I used to love Angst Technology. Heck, I even liked Weekend Warriors, even though I don't play paintball.
Last time I looked, though, the blog was sporadically updated, at best. le sigh
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