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Eric: A brief IM conversation, quoted by permission


11:38:03 PM Eric Burns: Okay. I now think I understand you.
11:38:12 PM Eric Burns: I certainly understand the world you live in better.
11:38:27 PM Scott Kurtz: huh?
11:38:37 PM Scott Kurtz: you understand what it's like to be totally hot and brilliant?
11:38:56 PM Eric Burns: No no. I didn't get the good stuff.
11:39:13 PM Eric Burns: I now understand what it's like to say anything and have it TURN INTO FUCKING WEBCOMICS DRAMA.
11:39:20 PM Eric Burns: Let me set the stage.
11:39:25 PM Eric Burns: I have had a *terrible* week.
11:39:32 PM Eric Burns: I had a complete hard drive failure.
11:39:38 PM Scott Kurtz: heard about that
11:39:42 PM Eric Burns: I discovered my backup system had failed for two months.
11:39:50 PM Eric Burns: So I lost everything for two months.
11:40:00 PM Scott Kurtz: fuck.
11:40:03 PM Eric Burns: That same day, Gossamer Commons got hit with a worm and went down.
11:40:16 PM Scott Kurtz: heard that too.
11:40:56 PM Eric Burns: While work was boiling over in Hell, I would add.
11:41:10 PM Eric Burns: My father was injured today, on a boat.
11:41:22 PM Eric Burns: I am *stressed.*
11:41:32 PM Scott Kurtz: oh shit. How badly was he injured?
11:41:32 PM Eric Burns: I post to Websnark... about a COMIC NOTIFICATION SITE.
11:41:55 PM Eric Burns: Stitches and observation, but it was a head injury so, you know. Stress.
11:42:04 PM Eric Burns: This was a nothing post.
11:42:08 PM Eric Burns: This was a *puff* post.
11:42:30 PM Eric Burns: We are now up to 34 comments on it in a full on Webcomics Drama War Thing.
11:43:07 PM Eric Burns: And I stared at it, at the burning flames and people saying "fuck" to each other...
11:43:22 PM Eric Burns: And I thought, very very deliberately, "this is how Scott Kurtz feels all the time."
11:43:37 PM Scott Kurtz: yes.
11:43:39 PM Scott Kurtz: yes it is.
11:47:11 PM Eric Burns: But... I...
11:47:15 PM Eric Burns: Dude.
11:48:21 PM Scott Kurtz: yeha
11:48:23 PM Scott Kurtz: nice huh?
11:49:17 PM Eric Burns: Clearly, it is my gift.
11:49:28 PM Eric Burns: I aggro drama.
11:50:06 PM Scott Kurtz: HA!
11:50:08 PM Scott Kurtz: That's awesome.
11:50:17 PM Scott Kurtz: put that on a tee shirt.
11:50:20 PM Eric Burns: Yes.
11:50:27 PM Eric Burns: Can I quote this conversation?
11:50:38 PM Eric Burns: Just these last bits, I mean.
11:50:42 PM Eric Burns: It would make a good snark. ;)
11:50:59 PM Scott Kurtz: Oh yeah.

Posted by Eric Burns-White at July 7, 2005 11:56 PM

Comments

Comment from: Wednesday posted at July 8, 2005 12:00 AM

The answer, of course, is to drink tea.

Like the people in London.

Who had EXPLOSIONS.

Jesus. How long did it take the Americans to have webcomics drama after all that? A week? Two? PEOPLE.

Comment from: slabgar posted at July 8, 2005 12:08 AM

11:50:38 PM Eric Burns: Just these last bits, I mean.

After all, noone publishes the complete minutes of their conspiracy meetings.  I mean, except Discordians, of course.

Comment from: Wednesday posted at July 8, 2005 12:10 AM

I blame zaku.

Comment from: Egarwaen posted at July 8, 2005 12:13 AM

zaku zaku?

Comment from: Kristofer Straub posted at July 8, 2005 12:25 AM

You're a tastemaker. Chex would be proud.

Comment from: IvoryTiger posted at July 8, 2005 12:28 AM

I so would by that t-shirt for a few friends. Wednesday I'm just glad to hear your okay.

Comment from: theusual posted at July 8, 2005 12:30 AM

At least WvW will have something to talk about. They haven't had a new headline in a couple days.

Comment from: Steve Troop posted at July 8, 2005 12:32 AM

Sorta like having a Snark with no comments about your comic, only to be followed by 50 comments -- none of which said a single thing about the comic either, huh? ;)

I hope things are looking better, Eric. There must be something in the air or something. My computer hard drive crashed a year ago and I lost just about everything I'd done in 2003 and a close relative of mine was diagnosed with stomach cancer last month.

But we both keep joking and comicking and commenting. It's what we do to stay sane.

Comment from: RoboYuji posted at July 8, 2005 12:40 AM

You start creating webcomic drama on purpose, I'll stop reading. Seriously. Not that it would actually matter or anything . . .

Comment from: Paul Gadzikowski posted at July 8, 2005 12:52 AM

I've changed my mind. I don't want to be famous. Everyone remember. Wait, that won't work ...

I fear you're misrepresenting us a little, Eric, to Scott or yourself. Yeah, us'n loves the drama, but: There was a great deal of sympathy expressed here over your data loss. And concern over Wednesday's proximity to the bombings. And though I say it myself there was an expression of spookedness when you went a weekend without* posting. On the other hand, as of clicking the post button I don't see anyone to express good wishes for your dad before me, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about or maybe it's just late at night. Best wishes for your dad.

* Master of unintentional alliteration!

Comment from: Brendan posted at July 8, 2005 12:53 AM

(Off-color joke about stewed T removed.)

No, no, no, Eric, you just rekindled a WDW with a puff post.

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at July 8, 2005 12:59 AM

You start creating webcomic drama on purpose, I'll stop reading. Seriously. Not that it would actually matter or anything . . .

Robo? That will never be a concern...

I fear you're misrepresenting us a little, Eric, to Scott or yourself.

This isn't about the Snarkoleptics. Or Aeire. Or the C-N people. Or anyone.

This is me recognizing that I aggro drama.

it's like a magical ability, is all.

Comment from: Will "Scifantasy" Frank posted at July 8, 2005 1:04 AM

Eric, due respect, but day-um...you're cursed. This is just a week of interesting times, all right. And I thought I'd be happy to see the weekend.

Hope the next week starts getting better, Eric.

Comment from: Aerin posted at July 8, 2005 1:08 AM

I'm totally with Kurtz: I want a t-shirt that says "I aggro drama."

(Speaking of Kurtz and t-shirts, the "Joss Whedon is my master now" shirt is finally available! Rejoice!)

Comment from: Aeire posted at July 8, 2005 1:12 AM

Again, apologies Eric.

Comment from: Kazriko Redclaw posted at July 8, 2005 1:18 AM

Webcomic Drama Aggro! Agh!

...

...

Uh oh, Webcomic Drama Link. Heck with it. I'm casting |Escape|.

</ffxi>

Comment from: RoboYuji posted at July 8, 2005 1:43 AM

"Robo? That will never be a concern..."

Ok, cool!

Comment from: DanShive posted at July 8, 2005 1:44 AM

How there can be big drama over webcomics is beyond me. Actually, it isn't beyond my comprehension, but I really, really wish it was, because it always seems to be such a waste of time and energy in retrospect.

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at July 8, 2005 1:47 AM

Aeire -- we cool.

I'll send you a tee shirt. ;)

Comment from: siwangmu posted at July 8, 2005 1:52 AM

Shive-san (writing from Japan, sorry),

Of course there can be big drama over webcomics. These are artistic works that are the personal creations of hundreds (thousands?) of individuals and if nothing ever happened that stirred passion in them they'd be a lousy bunch of damn creators.

I would seriously worry about them, man. Also, maybe this can be the new--what's it called--Turing test? The webcomics who always stay wisely away from such battles and betray no emotion in either direction are obviously the AIs!

Comment from: Sven8705 posted at July 8, 2005 1:58 AM

It all makes sense now! Dan Shive is really a robot!

Comment from: gwalla posted at July 8, 2005 2:04 AM

DanShive: To paraphrase Kissinger (on University politics), "Webcomics drama is vicious precisely because the stakes are so small."

Comment from: Aerin posted at July 8, 2005 2:07 AM

Didn't the Kissinger quote come up in reference to the whole trailer debaucle, as well?

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at July 8, 2005 2:10 AM

Aerin -- yes, it did. Hrm. Who is it who came up with it again? Let me ponder...

(No, I can't sleep. Yes, I get silly when I can't sleep.)

Comment from: Aerin posted at July 8, 2005 2:20 AM

Eric -- That's what I get for trying to write tech support documentation and keep up with my forums at 11pm: my photographic memory gets overextended. (Surprisingly, I'm being serious. I knew I had seen that quote, and I couldn't remember where. It was driving me nuts.)

And I envy you. I get paranoid when I can't sleep. Usually if it starts getting to that point I either read or put on a silly movie that I've seen too many times for it to hold my attention. It tends to work pretty well.

Comment from: Phil Kahn posted at July 8, 2005 2:34 AM

Eric Burns GG3

Summon Legendary Critic

(tap): Put one Snark token on Eric Burns.

All creatures with Drama are -1/+1

for each Snark token in play.

"Clearly, it is my gift. I Aggro Drama."

- Eric Burns, Websnark

2/3

Illus. Phil Kahn

Comment from: WiseSalesman posted at July 8, 2005 6:50 AM

The difference between you and Scott Kurtz is that you are NOT a total dick to your fans and community. As much as I like PVP and the person Kurtz PRETENDS to be when he makes his news posts, I was a founding member of the old PVP Forum and I know what he's really like.

Unfortunately.

If I'm wrong, if he's somehow changed 180 degrees in the last couple years, hallelujah for small miracles, and I apologize in advance.

Comment from: Major Teroh posted at July 8, 2005 7:14 AM

Mr Khan, I'd LOVE to see the art for that :))

Comment from: KJToo posted at July 8, 2005 7:47 AM

Eric, I'd really like to apologize for the tiny part I played in the CN/Aerie webdrama... but I can't. That's the first webdrama I've ever been involved in that has any chance of leaving a lasting record (I'm counting on you to keep WebSnark running in perpetuity to preserve it for posterity). I mean, my first time in such a public forum! You can't fault a guy for relishing that just a little bit.

Can you?

Comment from: Paul Gadzikowski posted at July 8, 2005 9:43 AM

This isn't about the Snarkoleptics. Or Aeire. Or the C-N people. Or anyone.

This is me recognizing that I aggro drama.

it's like a magical ability, is all.

I stand corrected.

The webcomics who always stay wisely away from such battles and betray no emotion in either direction are obviously the AIs!

I can tell from your word choices, siwangmu, that you're badly upset. Why don't you take a stress pill and get some rest?

Comment from: gwalla posted at July 8, 2005 11:53 AM

Can't go wrong with that Kissinger quote. It applies to so many things.

And the main difference is that when Kurtz attracts drama, it always directly involves him, while when Eric does so, he's usually sort of tangential to it (as in this case, where he had pretty much nothing to do with it except that it happened in his blog).

Comment from: Trevor Barrie posted at July 8, 2005 12:48 PM

Phil, shouldn't that be +1/-1? The card you describe would be anti-aggroing drama.

Also, tokens are permanents. You never put tokens on another card. Counters, yes, but not tokens.

Comment from: Montykins posted at July 8, 2005 1:08 PM

you understand what it's like to be totally hot and brilliant?

Great line.

Comment from: Phil Kahn posted at July 8, 2005 1:38 PM

Major: I've already done some art. I sent it to Eric, because it has what could be a pretty embarassing photo of him as the art (as was my intent :P). So ask him if you'd like to see it.

Trevor: Right. It's been a while since I've played.

But the point is that everyone is -1/+1 because Drama reduces everyone's ability to make a good point (Power), and bolsters their abilities to defend themselves at the drop of a hat, even at things not directed at things (Toughness). And when every creature has less power and more defense, nothing really gets accomplished. Just like real webcomic drama.

Comment from: Wednesday posted at July 8, 2005 3:41 PM

Egarwaen: Yes. Zaku. Bad zaku. Naughty Zaku.

Comment from: coldcut posted at July 8, 2005 5:03 PM

Scott Kurtz's father has worms?!

Comment from: Sundre posted at July 8, 2005 6:55 PM

Eric: I might not be able to wait for you to make that T-shirt. I'm highly tempted to paint my own, if you don't mind. See, there's this con next weekend...

Comment from: Egarwaen posted at July 9, 2005 11:07 AM

Wednesday: Egarwaen: Yes. Zaku. Bad zaku. Naughty Zaku.

I thought you were referring to that! But I wasn't sure, as Zaku is one of those words that's simply fun to say.

Zaku. Zaku.

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