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Eric: Still, Enterprise would be even better if someone had a Lion's Roar attack.

I'm a little rubbery -- I had a sandwich out at a food court which looked perfectly fine -- roast beef, some light cheese, tomato -- but which apparently had a big ol' sugar source in it (probably the dijon mustard was honey dijon, even though I specifically asked that it not be. Or perhaps the pickles were bread and butter instead of dill). That causes a reaction a couple of hours later which I'm still kind of getting over, so I'm a little foggy and shaky when I stand and stuff. Which isn't really relevant, because what I want to talk about tonight is Good Media Stuff.

First on the agenda is Kung Fu Shuffle Hustle1, which was fantastic -- and extremely satirical. It didn't just satirize the conventions of Kung Fu legends and cinema -- it had a brilliant Matrix parody (sans computers and everything) in the middle of it all. Also, toads. And shouting. And a motorcycle chase without motorcycles. There was full on brilliance there, though the beginning had humor that was off timing just a touch.

On the other hand, it also had the dance number in the beginning. And dude. The dance number. Yeah.

Then, there was Star Trek: Enterprise -- a TV show I've often despised and often begrudgingly liked. Well, this was the first part of the mirror universe episode they've been touting for a while. And the episode was vastly more interesting than Enterprise tends to be -- I'll give you that. It's the first time we've ever seen the Mirror Universe without Our Heroes on hand to be a contrast.

But that's not what made it cool as Hell. No... for that, we turn to the opening credits.

See, the opening credits of Enterprise have a discoed up version of an old Rod Stewart power anthem, while the evolution of exploration is played out in graphics in front of us. It's all meant to be very life affirming and thrilling, and before they discoed the theme music it sort of worked (though some people have always hated the theme music).

Well. They redid the whole sequence for the Mirror Universe, showing the rise of warfare, as it grows increasingly more mechanized and deadly and destructive, with martial music in the background. Even some of the graphics from the regular credits are there, like the unnamed circle ship with nacelles flying... only this time it's firing torpedos at an inhabited planet, slaughtering millions.

It's incredibly dark and twisted and I absolutely loved it. It ended on the Sword-Through-Earth symbol of the Empire. I would watch this series obsessively, I think.

Finally, this week's Justice League Unlimited was pretty good.

Anyway, I'm going to drink another gallon of water. Since I've been putting complex carbs and protein in me to try and balance the blood sugar crash out, I should also keep things as flushed as possible. Or maybe I'm making it worse. I dunno. But drinking a lot of water seems like a good idea.

1 Paul Southworth, who does the always fun (when it was regularly updating) Krazy Larry, has let me know that I actually got the name of the movie wrong. Because, as has been said before, I'm an idiot.

Posted by Eric Burns-White at April 23, 2005 10:06 PM


Comment from: kirabug posted at April 23, 2005 10:51 PM

Water's good. It's rare water makes things worse. Hope you feel better soon.

Comment from: JSW posted at April 23, 2005 11:04 PM

Well, it doesn't help too much when you're drowning, but other than that...

Comment from: NthDegree256 posted at April 23, 2005 11:12 PM

I've never been a big fan of Enterprise, although I have to admit your description of that episode makes it sound quite intriguing.

Having already fallen in love with Firefly and Farscape, though, I don't know that I can bear to get hooked on yet another cancelled series. :-P Which is why I'm currently supplementing my science-fiction TV diet with Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica.

Firefly and Farscape were both damn good shows and it was a shame to see them go, but Stargate SG-1 definitely deserves to keep airing the way it currently is (and the impending addition of Farscape's Ben Browder to the cast has me jumping with glee.) Atlantis has my attention more because of the Stargate name than any merits of the show itself yet, which could be disastrous, but I'll give the show more time to get up to speed (I'm watching the episodes for the first time as they re-air so far.) And Battlestar Galactica, as anyone can tell you, is just utterly fantastic.

Comment from: Doug posted at April 24, 2005 12:38 AM

Hmm... I'm assuming this the same Universe from whence the (future) Evil Kirk, McCoy, Uhura, Scotty etc. doppelgangers sprang from during a transporter incident in the original ST series?

If so, have they reached the point where the female bridge crew wear that hot midriff baring miniskirt/halter accessorized with thigh-high shiny black boots and dagger uniform?

If they've hit that point of Starfleet's sartorial design for crew uniform, I might be interested. I mean, I remember Uhura in that episode...

Oh, those cherished memories! I mean... Dag!

Comment from: Plaid Phantom posted at April 24, 2005 12:40 AM

Y'know, I heard somewhere that lots of water will kill you. Something about salt.

I really wanted to get into ST:Enterprise. I never managed to catch the episodes, though.

Comment from: Dave Van Domelen posted at April 24, 2005 12:44 AM

Doug, the hot midriff-baring styles are indeed present. And the tradition of the Captain's Woman...Hoshi, in this case.

Meanwhile, Chow seems intent on creating the stereotype of the middle-aged, balding (but not all the way bald) and flabby DEADLY MARTIAL ARTS KILLER FROM HELL. :)

Comment from: Dave Van Domelen posted at April 24, 2005 12:46 AM

Oh yeah...and too much water will cause some sort of shock. Be sure to have some salt along with it. If you can't stomach any salty food, just shake some salt into your hand (or the hollow of your thumb) and lick it as if you were going to do a shot of tequila next (but do water instead of the tequila).

Mind you, it takes a pretty heroic amount of water-drinking to cause problems.

Comment from: Danalog posted at April 24, 2005 12:49 AM

related link:


Comment from: arscott posted at April 24, 2005 5:20 AM

Was there a new episode this week? Or was it a repeat?

Comment from: Paul Gadzikowski posted at April 24, 2005 10:52 AM

Was there a new episode this week? Or was it a repeat?

Enterprise was new 4/15 and 4/22, and will continue to be new four more weeks only.

I've always liked Enterprise. It's the closest Berman has ever come to doing original Star Trek over his way. Whether it's a critical success or failure, by someone who is loved or hated by that small fraction of the demographics who are "fans", seems less important to me than that someone's done it. There'll be a genuine remake one day.

Comment from: Wednesday posted at April 24, 2005 11:00 AM

a) arscott: Surely one might infer from the above that Americans got something new?

b) You Americans. With your shows intended for your market. Watching them before everyone else, and then ... talking about them. This! This drives the illicit downloading of STUFF. Your cultural imperialism is saddening.

c) Disco?! How on earth could one possibly make it more... cocked up? (The original sequence looks fantastic in widescreen, so I am both eagerly awaiting the Nifty Mirror Thing and dreading, you know, disco. Would it have hurt them to hire, like, a decent industrial musician to remix it for this purpose, just this once?)

c-1) In any event, it is my most fervent prayer that this never happens at my wedding. Although one suspects that such a thing happening at one's wedding is vanishingly unlikely.

d) And, if you are not all better, I will come over there and kick the ass of whoever made the pickle.

Comment from: Robert Hutchinson posted at April 24, 2005 11:57 AM

Paul: What is it that appeals to you about remaking Star Trek?

Enterprise lost me for good shortly after the third season started--I'm pretty sure I've been hopelessly spoiled by some of those aforementioned cancelled series.

Comment from: kirabug posted at April 24, 2005 12:26 PM

I've seen almost every original series episode and about five of the seven seasons of next gen... but from that point forward it seemed like I was just never home when the show is on. And somehow it's been a lot harder to to get into the shows since... which has left me with a lot of puzzling questions. (Like, what the heck was Worf doing on DS9??)

The first season of Enterprise took place on a night that I had class. The nature of the episodes are so serial, though, that I'm not sure I could pick it up now if I wanted to.

I kind of miss being a Trek fan. My IDIC teeshirt finally wore out, and my mom threw my rubber Spock ears away when I left for college.

Comment from: Paul Gadzikowski posted at April 24, 2005 12:35 PM

Paul: What is it that appeals to you about remaking Star Trek?

Well, that's what happens to legends.

Look at King Arthur. It's difficult to get find a publisher for your new King Arthur novel because they feel the market's already saturated. And these aren't new stories. They're retellings of the old stories, some of them radically revisionist.

Look at Maverick, or Battlestar Galactica. These things tried the sequel route, then went to remakes. It doesn't always work the first time, but it always happens. It happened to The Brady Bunch. It'll happen to Star Trek.

Comment from: Shaenon posted at April 24, 2005 3:01 PM

"Kung-Fu Hustle," like "Sin City," is one of those movies that made me wonder why other movies are always forcing me to look at boring things, when they could be showing me machine-gun-toting hooker armies or middle-aged landladies using the Lion's Roar Attack against the World's Greatest Killer.

This also applies to comics. The "Sin City" comic had a hooker army. Any comic could, at any time, feature a hooker army. So why I am I looking at all these boring things instead? Why are they trying to get me to care about the internal politics of the JLA, when they could be giving me HOOKER ARMIES?

This probably ties into why I haven't watched "Enterprise" since the second episode, but I've made my point.

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at April 24, 2005 3:06 PM

Shaenon -- it's worth noting that as near as I can tell, the Mirror episodes of Enterprise feature a Hooker Army.

Comment from: Kate Sith posted at April 24, 2005 4:02 PM

Seconding the hooker army love. GOD YES.

Kung Fu Hustle sounds awesome. I've been too caught up in the impending H2G2 flick to give it much ntoice before now, but da(n)g.

Comment from: arscott posted at April 24, 2005 6:06 PM

Oops, I was talking about Justice League. I thought it was going to be a repeat of "The Cat and the Canary". I don't even watch Enterprise.

And for your information Ms Wednesday, We got the JL season two finale several MONTHS after everybody else did.

Comment from: Wednesday posted at April 24, 2005 8:20 PM

Yeah, and you got Battlestar Galactica months later, and you may not see Doctor Who for ages. Don't care. I still have to import, like, 90% of everything I wanna see, or wait until it's been spoilt to death (and not even then, because watershed and the BBFC and cuts and stuff).

Comment from: AndrewWade posted at April 24, 2005 8:40 PM

Eh, up here, CBC shows Doctor Who episodes about a week and a half after they're first shown on the BBC.

You know, for those who aren't too impatient and download them.

Comment from: Shaenon posted at April 24, 2005 11:23 PM

Eric-- Slutty chicks with phasers do not equal Hooker Army. I have simple but very specific requirements for my hooker armies, and I doubt that "Enterprise" is planning to meet those requirements.

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at April 24, 2005 11:28 PM

I have simple but very specific requirements for my hooker armies, and I doubt that "Enterprise" is planning to meet those requirements.

Though if they did, they probably wouldn't be canceled.

Comment from: Shadowydreamer posted at April 24, 2005 11:42 PM

I have to wonder what kind of music y'all listen to that you consider the Enterprise theme *Disco* .. Stayin' Alive is disco. I Will Survive is disco.. the redoing of the Rod Stewart song.. pop, but not disco.

Yes, the women were scantily clad and deadly. Next episode Yoshi and T'pol get into a fight, with knives and everything. So there's the T&A for people who just *need* the stuff.

Third season sucked heiny. Fourth season has been absolutely brilliant. Too bad all the fans who left during third wouldn't believe us and come back before the show was cancelled.

Comment from: Dorkboy posted at April 24, 2005 11:43 PM


Eric, you are NOT going to "Over hydrate". Drinking EXCESSIVE amounts of water while also SWEATING excessive amounts is what causes the "electrolytes" in your body to be depleted. Unless you plan on "willingly walk up stairs" for a couple hours, do NOT worry about it.


Comment from: benlehman posted at April 25, 2005 1:37 AM

Kung Fu Hustle is an excellent mix of Looney Tunes, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and some touching romance movie.

It really is extraordinary.



P.S. %100 agreed w/ Shaenon. The really sad thing is that, so often, one must decide between seeing interesting things and hearing interesting words.

Comment from: sinless posted at April 25, 2005 5:21 AM

Kung Fu Hustle was so good that I didn't mind being up waaay too late to go see it.

Wasn't JLU a re-run though?

Water good, fire bad, sleep for the win.

Comment from: A. Hooley posted at April 25, 2005 10:36 AM

Enterprise lost my interest during Season 2, but regained it about midway through Season 3. I thought the season-long story arc was (mostly) brilliant. Others must have, too, since it garnered them a fourth season.

I try to avoid all spoilers and "buzz" for my favorite shows, so I wasn't expecting Enterpise's Mirror Universe episodes. The first one was a lot of fun.

Comment from: Pooga posted at April 25, 2005 10:57 AM

Kung Fu Hustle was so many different kinds of goodness. It's the first martial arts movie I can recall laughing at so much I couldn't breathe. Lately it's taken a Trey Parker/Matt Stone vehicle to get that reaction, but from the knife throwing scene through the billboard splat I was so convulsed that my brother was beginning to get concerned for my health.

And I'm not falling for it. No matter how intriguing you make it sound, I'm not going back to the Star Trek Franchise. I wasted too much of the late 90s and early aughts on lousy Star Trek spin offs to be fooled again. So don't try to tempt me. Won't work. It's just a desperate last-minute ratings grab. Yep. Doesn't hold any interest for me whatsoever...

(I wonder if my dad still has last week's episode on tape...)

Comment from: Nentuaby posted at April 25, 2005 6:05 PM

Heh, specifically because of this snark I went out and recorded "In A Mirror, Darkly." It really is pretty fun- it's cool seeing the evil twins minus the good twins for contrast.

The only problem I have with it was-

Scott Bakula looks like he's going to have a seizure when he tries to look intense.

Comment from: gwalla posted at April 28, 2005 12:51 AM

Kung Fu Hustle is officially the greatest movie ever.

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