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Eric: Infernal Intervention! We are spooky ghosts! And selfish! Really!

If you're going to Infernate, Infernate all the way, I always say.

Hello, and welcome to Websnark's Infernal Infervention. We're six hundred and sixty six posts into this thing. That's a lot. Many. More than one by a bunch, as the kids say. We have approached -- I swear this is true -- three quarters of a million words worth of snarkage. Three quarters of a million words.

Since August.

I mean, holy fuck.

Comments are even better. As of this writing, we're up to four thousand, one hundred and five comments. That's a lot of conversation. People seem to like doing the thing of talking. Doing the thing of talking seems to appeal greatly to said people. We've gone from seventeen people and my cat knowing about Websnark to tens of thousands of daily readers. Any way you look at that, that's amazingly cool.

Most days, I'd just be humbly pleased at this. I'd IM Wednesday and we'd talk about the utter coolness that comes from having people read us, having some sense of impact, having the sheer fun we have every day with this Blog.

But this is the Infernal Intervention, so fuck that. It's selfishness time. We want.

What do we want? Plenty, damn it! We're byproducts of Western Civilization, and there's things out there. And what do we expect? What do we expect from you people? Huh? Huh?

Well... nothing. I mean, dude, yeah this is the selfishness post and all, but seriously. No one has to get us anything. We do this because we like it and because it quiets the voices. Still, we're going to put out the wishlists, so people know. I mean YES! Yes! Of course! They will know what it is we want! Mu hu ha ha ha!

And then... um... ignore it, because dude.

Anyway. We'll start with Wednesday, who is probably already skeeved as Hell that I wrote this in white on red, so we'll give her a nice clean sheet of her own:

You want my what? My wishlist? Well... all right. Um. Selfish. Yay.

Um. Right.

Speakers (Altec Lansing iM3) and case (Speck Toughskin, which AFAICT is the only thing which sodding well fits) for my iPod photo. It languishes. And should be more portable.

Ah, something else: another Fom pillow! Dammit! A big one!

Art supplies:

Copic Sketch markers ... and I'm coming up blank on listings for Deleter paper which aren't replete with neko neko wai shite, but I'll take basically anything they make which comes from trees.

Sketchbook Pro for OSX

... and a 512 MB stick of whatever DDR memory fits a current eMac. ^^ [EDIT 2005-04-07: Never mind!. --w.]

That's... probably way more selfish than I should even remotely consider being. So, yeah!

Oh, wait -- glasses! I need new glasses! Get me new glasses and I'll buy my own copy of Sketchbook Pro! Um. Right. Stuff. Is that selfish enough? I'm not sure I quite get the point of--

Hah heh hah! Drink deep of Wednesday White's selfishness! And... um... if any of this is actually something you want to give her -- which I think would shock her, mind -- shoot her e-mail to confirm it, first. I mean, it'd be embarrassing for fifteen copies of Sketchbook Pro to show up at her house, right?

(Yeah, that's gonna happen.)

And now, there's me. What do I want... when I am being... selfish? Hmmmmmmmmmm?

Hm. Actually, that's harder to say that I thought. Hang on, let me jump over to a white "sheet of paper" format too, just to keep everything clear:

I'm a sucker for books and e-books, so gift certificates from Amazon and Fictionwise are always good. By the same token, because I'm a hopeless Brent Siennaesque clone, a gift certificate from the iTunes Music Store by definition rocks.

I could also seriously use one of the new model Electric Kettles for tea making purposes. And nothing goes with an Electric Kettle quite as good as a tea pot for making the tea, and I have to admit I've been lusting after the Bodum Teabowl.

What else? Well, sticking with the kitchen, we have a Grater/Zester of the type Alton Brown likes (good for Nutmeg, too!). Or, if you'd prefer to go with entertainment, I'd be big on Crusade

Other than that? Drawings. Me am big on art, yo. Like anyone wants to get any of this stuff for me....

You see? You see? SELFISH! Selfish and demanding! And you! You're going to give in, aren't you? You're going to get us these things that we want, and you are going to like it! Yes! Yes you are! There's nothing you can... do... about....

Oh, who the Hell am I kidding. Can we get this weirdass red thing turned off?

Thanks.

Guys, we're happy as Hell to just be here, and we're happy as Hell just to be telling you that. No, neither Weds nor I want or expect anyone to get us anything, so long as you just keep showing back up.

So why make a big deal out of "selfishness?" Well, it's not so Weds or I can get things sent to us. It's to inaugurate the newest site element here on Websnark: a Paypal Donations Link.

We're not in any danger of shutting down. Yeah, there are costs involved, but I actually have a good job. However... well, this site takes a lot of time to do, and a lot of effort, and some folks have always wondered if there was a way they could show their appreciation. And I've always told them "sure -- keep reading," and I stand by that. But in today's world, there's nothing wrong with putting up a tip jar on the off chance that someone will want to use it.

(And I'm not ruling out doing a fundraiser drive if an expected medical thing doesn't get covered by insurance, but that won't come up until mid to late autumn at the earliest.)

Completely away from everything... thanks, guys. Thanks for being with us through this first seven hundred and fifty thousand words. I'm still having fun, and I hope you are too.

And just be glad we didn't do a special post for post number 69. I mean, dude.

Posted by Eric Burns-White at April 5, 2005 5:30 PM

Comments

Comment from: Wednesday posted at April 5, 2005 5:33 PM

You can tell it's evil because he used tables and font tags.

Comment from: Zutto posted at April 5, 2005 5:52 PM

Why would a demonic post use DIVine methods? ;)

Comment from: Dave Van Domelen posted at April 5, 2005 6:30 PM

The part of the fairy is played by Pix, a mini I did of a friend's character from a Mutants & Masterminds MUX.

http://www.dvandom.com/kitbash/snarkmark.JPG in case the board won't accept HTML image tagging.

Comment from: Daemonic posted at April 5, 2005 6:39 PM

That colour is just so fitting... *laughs maniacally* You have now fallen under my control! Mwuahahah!

Uh? What? Its just a handle? But... Fine.

Anyways, a big thanks to both of you guys. Quality reading and thinking always come from my visits here. To another 666 posts! :)

Comment from: chaos cricket posted at April 5, 2005 8:29 PM

That's a heckuva mess of Snarkage.

Now, the real challenge--who wants to go back to the very beginning and read all 666 snarks in a row?

Comment from: AndrewWade posted at April 5, 2005 9:09 PM

It's only somewhere over 750,000 words... can't take too long, can it?

Comment from: djcoffman posted at April 5, 2005 9:17 PM

Hell yes! Congrats Eric and Wednesday.

Comment from: Phil Kahn posted at April 5, 2005 9:21 PM

Selfish bastards...

I mean... gracious kind souls who cheer me on and stuff. Things.

But hey, I definitely enjoyed this post. It was a fun read.

Maybe I should do a commemorative 69th post...

Comment from: Chris Bishop posted at April 5, 2005 10:51 PM

Boo! I hate those donation buttons...

Comment from: Shadowydreamer posted at April 5, 2005 11:48 PM

So don't use them? ^_^

    Copic Sketch markers

I'd sell my soul for a full set of those markers. My sole too.

I have a brown betty tea pot.. maybe I should stash maple toffee in it and ship it to New England..

Comment from: Miles Gloriosus posted at April 5, 2005 11:58 PM

I love how desperatley hard the two of you try to be selfish, and how miserably you fail at it.

Now that, I think, is a sign of true character.

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at April 6, 2005 12:05 AM

No maple toffee for me -- sugar off the list. Send it to England and Wednesday. ;)

Comment from: kirabug posted at April 6, 2005 12:45 AM

Eric, what do you eat for junk food?

I'll laugh like hell if you guys actually get all the stuff on your wish lists, 'cause dude, you're both so totally worth it and don't even seem to realize it.

Comment from: Zaq posted at April 6, 2005 12:49 AM

"Oh, who the Hell am I kidding. Can we get this weirdass red thing turned off?"

...In the proper context, that's quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen today. Thank you, Eric.

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at April 6, 2005 12:55 AM

Kira--

That's a darn good question. ;)

I have medical restrictions from most things we'd consider junk food, at this point. I stick to high protein food (not low carb per se, but I try to avoid simple carbs like sucrose -- bad heart racing and blood pressure and... stuff.) The amazing thing is, after a couple of weeks without anything like candy or chips? A chilled orange is the most decadent ever.

I appreciate the thought vastly more than I can say, but as for junk food, I have to pass.

On the other hand, there's always tea....

(Or is that... selfish of me? Mu hu hah hah hah!)

Comment from: Arachnid posted at April 6, 2005 1:49 AM

Fo... fo... fon... font tags?

Damn.

I was seriously going to buy Eric a $10 Fictionwise voucher, because I like books and ebooks too, and it's way too long since I've looked at their site anyway, but damn, font tags? This may be post 666, but that's just _evil_!


No biscuit. Not even one of those boring plain ones. Not even a water cracker.

(Background: I'm a web developer. I like standards, and I _hate_ font tags. I'm also a member of GAWDS.)

Comment from: Eric Burns posted at April 6, 2005 1:57 AM

Get Wednesday something instead, Arachnid -- she was legitimately horrified to see font tags. And the tables, for that matter.

"It worked, simply and easily," I said, naively.

"It's depreciated," she almost shrieked, horrified, like I had suggested punking a Nun for cash.

"Yeah, but I'm posting it anyway," I said. And thus my fate was sealed.

Blame not Ms. White for my sins.

In the meantime... it remains so... well, easier. For me. The moron.

Comment from: Arachnid posted at April 6, 2005 2:20 AM

Does Wednesday want something I can actually afford, though? ;)

Comment from: Wednesday posted at April 6, 2005 9:26 AM

No maple toffee for me -- sugar off the list. Send it to England and Wednesday. ;)

I don't think they much like it when insulin resistant girls eat it, either. Where "they" is, uh, glands.

(Good morning.)

Does Wednesday want something I can actually afford, though? ;)

Baked Cheetos! Baked Cheetos and Luna bars (except for the chai or caramel-based flavours).

Comment from: Shadowydreamer posted at April 6, 2005 10:22 AM

Hmm.. It sounds like you can eat oatcakes tho (Mmm.) I will go check the ingrediants next time I'm in the shops. I have to think of something appropriately Canadian and non-sugary for Wednesday. ^_^ (Maple Syrup is right off the list.)

..me? trying to get a Canuck long for home, pack up her household (and those in it) and jump back across the pond? Never! (If never is about the same length as my shoelace.)

Comment from: SK posted at April 6, 2005 10:44 AM

I wouldn't be so sure that there's nothing wrong with putting up a tip jar.

I mean, yes, one little tip-jar doesn't, in the grand scheme of things, mean much.

The problem comes if existing on tips is ever seen to be an acceptable way for a writer, artist or critic to live, thus reducing people who can create content to the status of beggars, and undermining the fine efforts of people like Joey Manley et al to put internet-content-creators on a stable economic footing where they enter into transactions with their readers as equals instead of existing on goodwill.

It's just something to be aware of, the wider implications your actions might have.

Comment from: Robotech_Master posted at April 6, 2005 11:09 AM

In the interest of assisting with Sabre's Infernal Intervention...

...there are places that ship boxes of oranges, you know.

What can I say, the devil made me do it. ]:)

Comment from: Tangent posted at April 6, 2005 12:06 PM

Mmmm, chilled oranges...

And this from the person who eats lemon sandwich creme cookies. *big grin*

Rob, who is tangentially evil

Comment from: Vishanth posted at April 6, 2005 12:44 PM

As far as ebooks are concerned, if you like sci-fi (who doesn't!) Baen publishing has been offering several of their books for free online for some time now, or in some cases free on cd with certain of their books. Their are, like, 5 books with cds in the back which you can easily get from the library and which you have the publisher's permission to copy, lend, etc., plus their Baen Free Library ( http://www.baen.com/library/ ). As well, if you want more there are ebooks at http://www.webscription.net/ that you pay a couple dollars for. Mostly its a (highly successful) marketing gimmick which I'm all for. So yeah, instead of buying anything for you, I content myself with pointing this out.

Comment from: Wednesday posted at April 6, 2005 2:21 PM

Mmmm, webscriptions. IOW, SERRA/Bedlam's Bard crack for those outside the Baen distribution turf.

... oh my goodness. Is Music to my Sorrow now Bedlam's Edge? August? AUGUST?! Sob.

Comment from: kirabug posted at April 6, 2005 3:11 PM

Eric wrote:

I have medical restrictions from most things we'd consider junk food, at this point. I stick to high protein food (not low carb per se, but I try to avoid simple carbs like sucrose -- bad heart racing and blood pressure and... stuff.) The amazing thing is, after a couple of weeks without anything like candy or chips? A chilled orange is the most decadent ever.

Oh, so the bit in the Dark Tower series actually happens? There's a passage, I think in the 2nd book, where Roland is amazed at the sheer accessibility we modern Americans have to sugar... and he can't figure out why the other character (Eddie?) would need cocaine when sugar's such a powerful drug in the first place.

My doctor's been hinting that my family history is going to someday throttle my pancreas. I have to drop the junk as well - I'm trying to figure out what people eat instead. Didn't know if you went the direction of fruit or pork rinds. Do you get spoiled with stuff from Harry and David's a lot?

Comment from: Wednesday posted at April 6, 2005 3:30 PM

Mental note: blood oranges.

Comment from: Shadowydreamer posted at April 6, 2005 6:08 PM

You're a wicked woman Wednesday.

When my cholesterol came back "OMG! ACK!" I dropped my beloved popcorn. I now eat A LOT more rice, prepackaged salads ($3 at your local grocery store), and treat myself with oatcakes (yum!) and rice crackers. (Sea Salt are my fav.)

I think it all depends on what your dietary restrictions. Low fat and low calorie is ALWAYS good, but if you can't live without fat but you CAN live without bread and pasta, go low carb.

Comment from: Wednesday posted at April 6, 2005 8:25 PM

Salad. *shudder*

Ideally, one should be able to live entirely on tea, coffee, whiskey and wine.

Ideally.

Maybe some blood oranges. Chilled ones.

Maaaaybe.

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