AAAAAAIIIIEEE!!!!

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(From The Astronomy Picture of the Day! Click on the thumbnail for full sized HOLY SHIT! SAVE THE CHILDREN!)

Look, I respect Albert Einstein. I really do. I think he's a man of nearly unparalleled greatness in science -- the equal of Newton, of Archimedes, and of Fire. (Fire named her greatest invention after herself, you see.)

But that doesn't mean I don't desperately fear EINSTONE, DEADLY PHYSICS GOLEM! He's going to start by crushing that telescope he's looking so bitterly at, and then follow it up by EATING CHILDREN! Death! Horror! Death and horror!

And in case he gets bored? He has a GIANT METAL BOOK HE CAN CLUB US WITH!

Horror! Horror! HORROR!!!!

Also, did the sculptor have to make him look so unstylish? His sweater's not exactly flattering to the father of Relativity. Even one who is going to kill us all.

17 Comments

I dunno. He might crush us all into a bloody pulp, but I don't think he can be bothered. He looks like the demon animating his force is one of Ralph's lot.

I can just picture Einstein pulling at his hair in anguish and saying, "Jeez, guys! Can't you immortalize me with a _young_ statue? Do I always have to be old and wizened, and sticking my tongue out in pictures?"

He doesn't look bitter so much as he looks very tired. Trying to untangle the mysteries of general relativity can do that to a body, even if it is made out of bronze.

Golem-Einstein needs coffee.

Eh, I don't know. He looks like a rather benevolent golem to me. Of course, it's really hard to look menacing when you have the sleepy eyes thing going on. "I'm going to terrorize things later. Right now, I need a nap."

Long Title: "Afterwards, young Edward Teller would realize that he'd inadvertantly inverted the cosmological constant's sign in his equation while meddling in things Man Was Not Meant To Know, turning the grandfatherly, gentle physicist into an unstoppable juggernaut of destruction. The nightmarish result would haunt him the rest of his days."

Short Title: "Oh bother," said Feynman.

Sweet Lord! Get the torches and pitchforks!

E=MC...RUN!!!!

Goddard Space Flight Center's NASA Academy starts off every year with a sightseeing tour of DC that includes a photo op with Al. It was rather freaky.

The texture of that statue is even weirder up close. It's like he's melting or something.

Gah! Too jazzed after a deadline, and too in a too philosophical state of fatigue for my own good. And double-posting, too. bad sign.

Where this sculpture fails is in it making Prof. Einstein larger than life. It's treating him like some heroic figure in the time-honored Slayer-of-Enemies, Builder-of-Empires fashion you find in most memorial sculptures. The huge figure in noble pose works for a Nelson, but Einstein... The pose is proper, but the scale is off.

His intellect was something that looms like a titan over our world, a force deserving of awe and wonder. It changed the universe as very few others have done. Something like that deserves a memorial of grandeur, of something huge and impressive.

But, from what I've read of the man, Einstein would be horrified to have himself treated as something larger than life. I'm pretty sure he'd hate that sculpture. The scale of the thing is all wrong.

I think he'd have been much happier if it had been simply life-sized. He'd probably be even happier if it had a slightly embarassed, child-like smile atop the air of tiredness and contemplation the sculptor put in- something closer to life.

I'm almost certain he'd be a lot happier if the monument were something less a larger-than-life hero, and more the very real man. I'm sure that he'd be especially happy if it was something children would play on while their parents watched.

Thanks, DJ, now I'm thinking of a physics rap group called Run E=MC2.

"And she told me to contract this way, diffract this way...."

Really should be a giant floating head. And the Giant Floating Head of Einstein seems much more like something that'd destroy the world.

The bit about kids playing though, yeah. That's one of the things that bugs me about public sculpture, why not make it something people can touch or do things to or with or around?

He looks like the Wicked Witch of the West after she was splashed with water. "I'm meeeeltinnnng... I'm meeeltiiinnng... oh my wonderful physics, ruined... meeellltiiiinnng..." *grin*

Rob, Tangenting across the internet (and on my own website!)

"I'm almost certain he'd be a lot happier if the monument were something less a larger-than-life hero, and more the very real man. I'm sure that he'd be especially happy if it was something children would play on while their parents watched."

I vaguely recall a childhood photo of myself playing on this very statue.

SO THAT'S WHAT WENT WRONG WITH ME!

I have wasted *so* much on therapy all these years.

on the other hand, this is a far more innocent desecration of a respected physicist than the "MC Hawking" cds. Featuring such hits as "Fuck the creationists," "All my shootin's be drive-bys," and "E = MC Hawking."

Um, dude, he's sinking into his own pelvis.

Thanks, DJ, now I'm thinking of a physics rap group called Run E=MC2.

There is a pretty decent turntablist named DJ Kid Einstein; it has always bothered me more than I care to admit that the guy he teamed up with was not named MC Squared.

First of all, this post was utterly hilarious.

That said, I once heard that Hawking himself had heard the "MC" stuff and thought it was funny, which, if true, is completely awesome (not that he wouldn't be well within his rights not to like it). Also... "Fuck the Creationists" is pretty damn catchy.

Not quite. Stephen Hawking did hear the MC Hawking stuff, and he said it wasn't really his taste in comedy. But he also saw the humor in it, and he didn't have a problem with it. So the stuff is fine, according to Prof. Hawking himself, but don't expect him to buy the CD anyday soon. :)

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