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-->February 5, 2005
Eric Burns-White: It's like this when I catch a story, too.
I'm now six weeks into my scriptwriting. By the time I actually have an artist selected, I'll probably have a cool 3 months of scripts written. Now, bear in mind, said artist will have a chance to say what he or she thinks of the scripts and the story -- this is going to be collaborative, not dictatorial -- and so all of it might change along the way. But still, this is a heady brew. I think right at the moment I know how T. Campbell feels.
In a way, it's frustrating as Hell, because I can see this in my mind's eye so clearly. I know exactly how I would draw it, if I could draw. Which I cannot. And I know that no artist can draw what's in my brain. I have my Big Friend Frank taking perspective shots of the Ithaca Commons, so that the artist can at least see what the real life locations look like, but the art won't end up looking a thing like those shots. Nor should it, in the end.
In the end, the results will be better than I could do on my own even if I could draw. I honestly believe that. But I wish... you know?
And yeah, I know. If I wished that much, I should be practicing and actually developing these skills I claim to want.
Part of me wonders if these posts are of any interest. I realize I should be snarking about other peoples' comics, but my brain is so... focused right now. I get this way with stories, too. Everything seems to relate back to them, and they become what I'm mostly focused on during that point.
On the other side of it, I've got lots of good jazz to listen to now. My mother clearly doesn't know what she's talking about, when it comes to Jazz Clarinet.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 11:59 PM | Comments (12)
-->February 4, 2005
Eric Burns-White: Scribbling in the night, listening to jazz clarinet
I'm listening to a Buddy DeFanco AAC I got off of iTunes, from a birthday gift certificate scored from my friend Bruce that I'm slowly depleting. It's pretty fucking cool -- riffs off of "I'm Glad There Is You" and "There's No You," which if you think about it are two songs that were made to be mashed together by a sextet. I'm writing scripts for my comic strip sekret projekt, which features a jazz clarinetist.
I made her a clarinetist because my mother is a clarinetist. She's not a jazz musician, mind, but I felt a certain kinship to the clarinet based on... well, her existence. So I started doing research on clarinetists... but all the research seemed to tap out around 1945 or 1950. So I called my folks. My Dad mentioned Benny Goodman and Artie Shaw and Pete Fountain. And of course we have to mention Woody Allen, who plays Dixieland Jazz on Monday nights in New York, when he's available. It's why he perpetually missed the Oscars in the 70's and 80's. I mean, sure -- he could have accepted his Academy Award for Annie Hall in person, but damn it, he had a gig. And jazz gigs are hard to come by.
He then gave the phone to my mother. The very person who I decided to make the character a clarinetist for.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," I said. "Tell me about Jazz Clarinet."
"It sucks," she said.
I kind of blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Jazz clarinet sucks. Oh, Dixieland is okay. The same way Jazz Banjo is okay in Dixieland. And maybe some Swing."
"I hate Dixieland Jazz," I said.
"There you go," she said. "You want a good Jazz instrument? The kind of thing you'd hear Dave Brubeck put his piano talents with? Go with flute."
"Nah," I said. "I never cared for flute."
"Piano?"
"She's a street musician. Keyboards would be a pain in the ass. And don't say saxophone. Talk about clich»..."
"All right. Go with Trumpet. Or flugel. Or cornet. Those are good jazz instruments."
"Yeah. Definitely. Still... that's so common. This character's kind of weird anyway."
My mother laughed. "Then make her a clarinetist who's at the forefront of a new jazz movement. It's a comic strip, Eric. If you tell the audience she sounds good, she officially sounds good. No one's going to say she doesn't."
My mother's a smart woman.
Besides, since then I found Buddy DeFranco. And that's good enough for me.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 11:47 PM | Comments (21)
-->February 3, 2005
Eric Burns-White: This is really coming together. I mean, *wow.*
So, I've got several people interested in the Sekret Project Comic Strip so far. I've gotten tons of character sketches from folks, and people who are deeply interested. I'm getting comments and bits of art and suggestions. It's really amazing.
Now, after I see some character sketches, I'm sending along a sample script for a comic strip to folks, to see how well they can take what I wrote and transmute it into something we *both* did. And I got my first one of those back tonight.
Amazing. Astounding.
This is going to be so cool.
Also, I have the first two weeks of strips written.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 11:53 PM | Comments (7)
-->February 2, 2005
Eric Burns-White: Snarky, know thyself.
It seems to work like this:
If I've had enough sleep, my snarks tend to be positive.
If I haven't had enough sleep, my snarks are more likely to be negative.
I try my best to express my true opinions regardless, but I'm getting to know what kind of stuff I put out in different situations.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 9:21 PM | Comments (2)
-->Eric Burns-White: If they'd been Wombat Zombies, Campbell could have worked a Digger reference in too.
(From Fans. Click on the thumbnail for full sized Hot Cootchie Momma!)
I like Fans. I like T. Campbell. I like the evolution of this his endgame. I like where he's going with the story.
I like Narbonic. I like Helen and her gang. And I like Dr. Helen Narbon -- she of the "heh heh heh." I like them all.
And yet... I read this, like I've read the other Narbon cameos in this plotline... and... well, 'meh.' It's kind of bothered me throughout. And I finally figured out why with this particular mention.
See, the late Robert Reed once made reference to 'Batman in the Operating Room.' He was talking about an episode of Brady Bunch that had pulled out a pointlessly slapstick premise that simply didn't fit with the established comedic tone of Brady Bunch. Now, the fact that no one gave a fuck about the "established comedic tone" of the Bradys except for Robert Reed didn't matter. He gave a fuck, and he explained why it was a problem. It was, in his words, like having an episode of M*A*S*H, funny as always in its cerebral way, featuring Hawkeye and the gang quipping in the O.R. Suddenly, the camp version of Batman bursts in, on the pursuit of some nefarious criminal, operating in his comedic theme.
At this point, the scene cannot work, period. M*A*S*H and Batman were both comedies, but they were entirely different in tone, in pacing and in execution. One could make a credible M*A*S*H plot about a shellshocked soldier who got a Batman costume and was delusional, or one could make a credible Batman plot where he ends up at a battlefield hospital chock full of cameos from M*A*S*H, playing off the camp, but you couldn't do both at once. Suspension of disbelief wouldn't support it.
Well, Narbonic is a funny, funny strip. There is essentially always the setup and execution of humor. Always. I can only think of one strip in the last several years that didn't have a joke in it, and even that strip was paced like a gag. That it has clear Story doesn't change that fact. It is gloriously, wonderously absurd.
Fans isn't. There is always a satirical element to the strip, but the strip is itself paced seriously within that. Its humor tends to be black, or even nonexistent. And it always -- always -- takes itself seriously in the heart of the absurd.
To have Doctor Helen Narbon hurling people into Badger Zombie pits in the midst of that is at best jarring. You don't know if you should apply Narbonic rules or Fans rules. It distracts. it cracks the facade of Suspension of Disbelief.
In short, it's Batman in the Operating Room, and even the brilliant writing of T. Campbell and art of Jason Waltrip -- and Waltrip does one Hell of a Doctor Narbon, artistically speaking -- isn't enough to overcome it.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 8:23 PM | Comments (9)
-->Eric Burns-White: Blacklist seems to be turning the tide
For the record, MT-Blacklist has blocked 167 trackback spams. If any of them had gone through, of course, the Nofollow tag would have made them worthless to the spamming company, so with luck I'll get on a list as too much trouble for my worth.
Which is the story of my life, really.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 8:05 PM | Comments (4)
-->Eric Burns-White: Update on the day
I remember when sleep came easily. Last evening it came too easily, really. I fell asleep at seven, woke up at one in the morning, and then I was up. I ended up washing dishes and doing crap like that. This evening I'm tired as Hell, but forcing myself to stay awake by traveling down to a cafe and writing.
Mostly, I'm working on the comic strip. I've had some good interest from artists and some kickass character sketches. I think this could work astoundingly well. At the same time... part of me wonders if somehow this would become... I don't know. Like a reverse selling out or something. Do I lose my license to snark as a disinterested party if suddenly I have a strip on the web? Especially if it sucks?
For the record, this is a Story comic, with some Funny thrown in. It's not a Funny comic with Story. Though the In Nomine strip is a Funny comic with Story thrown against the wall to see what sticks, so I'm trying a little of everything. So no, by definition, I won't be going for a Cerberus Syndrome because it'll be opening that way. As for First and Ten... well, that's for other people to say.
Ah well, if it sucks, it sucks. I want to do this. Is there ever a better reason?
This is more babble than snark, philosophical or otherwise. So, from somewhere in central New Hampshire, I remain ever your servant....
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 7:48 PM | Comments (4)
-->February 1, 2005
Eric Burns-White: Get your hands off me, you damn, dirty spammers!
So, woke up this morning, rolled over, and opened up the powerbook to suck down the morning mail. Hey, you have your traditions and I have mine.
Boom. 60 new messages to Websnark. Now... sixty new mail messages to my websnark accounts is no big deal, but this was sixty new comments. That meant either someone was royally pissed off over my post about Shortpacked, and we had a flamewar in progress (maybe someone doesn't like action figures?) or someone had found a way to spam me.
Yup. It was "B." I had 60 new trackback pings inviting all of you to check out Poker Online. I'd have had more, but the throttling had kicked in (which also meant people were having trouble making legitimate comments).
So, it was finally time to install MT-Blacklist. Which I have now done. We'll see.
Among other things, it means older entries will auto-moderate, which isn't a bad thing, but might mean some delay if you want to, oh, comment on the Megatokyo post or something.
Secondly... it might mean to some that hey -- we don't need Typekey any more. I mean, if I'm going to put in the magic Blacklister, why should we have the largely broken authentication service?
The answer to that is actually simple: Blacklist isn't anywhere near 100%. Right now... as annoying as it is to post through Typekey (especially if you're on Internet Explorer, which just doesn't work with it), there is no comment spam at all. The last time I used MT-Blacklist with a blog, lots of comment spam got through.
Now... it might be a good idea to set all entries to moderate, and then set it so Typekey entries are automatically approved, which can be done with this version of MT-Blacklist. That means that anyone who doesn't do a Typekey thing would need to have their comments approved by me before they appear. The problem there is... well, I have something of a life, and so comments might sit, unapproved, for a very, very long time.
Of course, I could designate some other approvers. But hand in hand with that comes... well, other writers here on Websnark. Which people have been mentioning to me for a long time now, and which I admit might not be a bad idea. Only it is an official Step.
I dunno. What do people think? How best do we repel the boarders, keep me sane, keep me from having to do websnark stuff for hours a day beyond the actual writing, and make everyone happy?
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 10:46 AM | Comments (19)
-->January 31, 2005
Eric Burns-White: Ahhhh... sweet impact.
In my post on Basil Flint, I suggested that Atomic Sock Monkey Press, the publishers of Monkey, Ninja, Pirate, Robot should release a supplement that includes "Fonz" and "Shark."
Well, MNPR writer (and creator of the brilliant RPG Dead Inside, which better win some awards this year and which you should buy) Chad Underkoffler (doesn't "Underkoffler" sound like a really cool mad scientist's invention?) took this as a challenge. As the artwork in MNPR is stick figurish, he has provided Fonzie and Shark Stick Figures for the game.
This pleases me to an almost absurd degree.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 11:06 PM | Comments (0)
-->Eric Burns-White: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me *three* times... um... crap, I'm like a webcomics codependent, aren't I?
(From Shortpacked. Click on the thumbnail for full sized Batman!)
So. First David Willis did Roomies, and I read and loved it. And then he went for a Cerberus Syndrome and ended up in First in Ten, and I wanted to pound my head into the bricks. The sweet, sweet bricks.
And then he punched the reset button and remade his strip into It's Walky, and I read and loved it! And then he didn't really go for a Cerberus Syndrome because he knew where he was going from the beginning, but it was still First and Ten and after a while it was too confusing for me, and I did a "You Had Me And You Lost Me" and left it behind.
And then he brought back Roomies for Keensyndicate, but to be honest it didn't do much for me. It's still there, though.
But then... he hit the reset button on Shortpacked. It's two strips into the new Shortpacked Era.
God help me. I am David Willis's bitch. At least this one can't go for a Cerebus Syndrome. I mean, it's a gag strip about toys, right? Right?
...right?
(Oh, and he also started putting out new It's Walky strips, on a weekly basis for every hundred bucks he takes in in donations. Which... well, certainly counts as a revenue model, doesn't it?)
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 9:19 PM | Comments (7)
-->Eric Burns-White: Say what you like about Scott Kurtz -- the man *does* learn from experience
In today's rant over at PvP, Scott Kurtz talks a little bit about his choices during the recent NCSoft/Marvel trial storyline he's been doing. And for the most part, I agree with Kurtz's take on his work -- he didn't set a side, he lampooned the situation as a whole. And while I personally think the Marvel suit is a load of dingo's kidney's -- I've seen the City of Heroes folks nuke names and designs that go over the line, and no doubt they've been getting better and more strict about it -- I can appreciate the humor of even the Marvel-oriented strips.
At the end of the rant, however, he threw in the following:
If there is one thing flawed about the Graphamaximo storyline, it's that I didn't take equal time to lampoon mainstream comics and their self-impoorance along side the alternative crowd
Now, I know how people reacted to that storyline. I know how the alternative/independents reacted, and I know how people reacted against the alternative/independents. And I know that somehow, that sentence just pissed both groups off all over again. That's the nature of the beast.
But I think he's right. If he'd actually devoted some time not to saying how the Alternatives were right, but how the Mainstream is also fucked up... it would have taken a lot of the curse off that storyline. Because Kurtz is right. He's not a political satirist, and he's not trying to convert people. He's trying to make them laugh.
And the best way to do that is to apply the shaft to everyone. That's what brings the Funny, in the end.
Really, it's one of the areas Checkerboard Nightmare shines in. Straub may like you or hate you, but if he makes reference to you, it's to mercilessly make fun of you. Same with Penny Arcade, really.
Obviously, the Graphimaximo ship sailed a long time ago, but it's just good to see that Kurtz learned the right lesson from it -- not to stop cracking on folks, but to spread the cracks around.
Yeah, that might mean sooner or later he might do a sequence where he cracks on self-important bloggers whose only claim to expertise is their successful installation of Movable Type. And if he goes down that path, I can only hope I get to have Brent cut me down to size while drinking expensive pretentious coffee and using his expensive pretentious Macintosh.
But that may be because I'm typing on my Powerbook in a coffee shop drinking a tall vanilla latte.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 7:58 PM | Comments (5)
-->Eric Burns-White: Is it hypocracy when we really *want* Brad to get beat into nothingness, though? It is? Damn.
(From Gin and the Devil. Click on the thumbnail for full sized philosophical discourse!)
There are substantial differences between, say, Gin and the Devil and Something Positive. Certainly Matt Milby and R. Milholland have different artistic styles. Gin and the Devil is a little more rooted in the everyday, too -- not only in a singular lack of pliant pussies (get your mind out of the gutter) but in a sense of almost desperation. There's a reason so many of these relationships evolve in bars, in Milby's strip. Milholland has -- though he might try to deny it -- a kind of optimism running through his strip. Things resolve, more or less, even if they take a long time, and no matter how incompetent and stupid the Lesbian might be, there always comes that day when she begins to step out into the light. In Milby's strip, said light is probably the harsh light of dawn on a day that might not improve things.
And yet, today's strip (well, Friday's strip) feels like it could be as much a Something Positive as a Gin and the Devil. The setup feels Milhollandesque, the delivery is just about perfect... it would work just as well with Jason in Wayne's place, ready to reduce someone who just sucker punched Davan into a fine red paste.
Which may say something about the commonality of the two strips, or at least that moment of comeuppance when the bully who just smacked your friend discovers that oops, he had friends who were bigger than he was. It reminds me of an experience back in college. My friend Matt is not the largest person in the world, but he might be the bravest. He's the sort of person who runs towards fights instead of away, because someone might need help. And there was a point where, freshly haven given blood (just to ensure he was at a disadvantage), he interceded between an abusive boyfriend and abused girlfriend. Said boyfriend turned on him, and three of his frat buddies turned to join them as well.
And the contents of just about the entire dorm Matt lived in turned on them. See, Matt was president of his dorm and nice to everyone, so pretty much everyone on Earth liked him. Did I mention several of the people in Matt's dorm were at B.U. on Wrestling Scholarships?
So, the pleasure I feel in seeing Brad about to be made triple jointed and foldable is in some ways nostalgic. And if it reminds me pretty seriously of Something Positive today, I think that's because I like Something Positive too.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 4:13 PM | Comments (3)
-->Eric Burns-White: I think "Fonzie" and "Shark" should be added to "Monkey, Ninja, Pirate, Robot Deluxe."
(From Basil Flint, P.I.! Click on the thumbnail for full sized multiple panel nudity!)
I have phlegm and little voice to speak of. I cough, I spit, I snort. I drink peppermint and lemon teas by the gallon at the moment.
But my head is clear, my body doesn't hurt, and at any given time I feel like I might actually be awake instead of asleep, given my druthers.
I'm back, and ready to eat some fucking babies, kids!
Now, sure -- I went into today's Basil Flint thinking "Oh cool! Breasts!" Because hey -- breasts! But the sheer moment of actually having Fonzie actually jumping the shark in the actual hurricane that's blowing them to the side, with Fonzie actually saying "Ayyyyyy!" while the shark says -- and I quote -- "Grrr, Argh" elevates the overused clich» into high art.
I'm reminded of the Simpsons. Which isn't a surprise. Meaningless pop culture references and trivia have mostly displaced what social life I once had in Ithaca or Seattle. But to get back to the point, Homer and Marge are getting remarried and Reverend Lovejoy is reading the vow that Homer wrote for Marge:
I will now read the special vows which Homer has prepared for this occasion. Do you, Marge, take Homer... in richness and in poorness? Poorness is underlined. In impotence and in potence? In quiet solitude or... blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-power, monkey navigated -- and it goes on like this!
My point is, I love things that go vastly over the top. It wasn't enough that Homer wrote an overblown vow to Marge -- he went vastly beyond all sanity. It's not enough that Troutman decided to go with a "Jump the Shark" joke in reference to Flint and Amanda kissing. (Wouldn't a Moonlighting David/Maddie having sex bit be more apropos?) Instead, he actually puts in Fonzie jumping over the shark, both of them being blown around in a freaking hurricane, Fonzie saying "Ayyyy" all the while. If you're going to do it, drastically over do it, God damn it!
Anyway. I'm always glad to read the Troutman files, and today's no exception. Plus, nudity!
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 3:25 PM | Comments (0)
-->January 30, 2005
Eric Burns-White: You realize conservative pundits will claim Pardus's team as proof of the domesticated agenda, now.
(From Kevin and Kell. Click on the thumbnail for full sized... er... revelation?)
It's not that this sequence was bad, per se.
You see, I remember Kevin and Kell from the 90's, and from the turn of the century. I remember hidden clues being buried and slowly allowed to develop. I remember situations being set up, then being allowed to grow tense over long periods of time. I remember the payoffs that were built into those situations as a result. I remember Corrie being 'outed' as a sheep (and as a carnivorous one, for that matter) after years of first pretending to be a sheepskin, then pretending to be a wolf (in her father's skinned hide, no less). I remember the saga of Rudy's domestication. I remember the freaking Great Bird Conspiracy.
So... to have a new wrinkle introduced -- Coach Pardus is really a domesticated housecat wearing leopard spots -- on Monday, and have it pay off on Sunday (with Rudy and Kell both publicly admitting their domestication in the same breath, I would add)....
It's not that it was bad, but it was disappointing. I was expecting the conflict to be allowed to season and grow and develop for a while, so that the revelation would be given more weight. Alternately, it would have been nice if they hadn't done the setup at all -- instead doing a whole week of the kids' and Kell's views of Pardus (who's always been something of a cipher in the strip), building up to his award and his being exposed as a housecat at that point. And seeing the reactions of the cast, and not have them be so instantly supportive. I mean, he's been lying to them. Would they all ultimately understand? Of course. But Rudy -- for example -- has had so many of his family and friends give him revelations he didn't want to hear for so long... it seems almost surprising to see him immediately leap out and defend his coach after learning yet another authority figure was lying to him. A week or two of reactions from the cast, and some hypocrisy here and there, would have been nice. As it is... well, there will probably be fallout still, but there's no tension.
Also... given the species registry and the like... is domestication really the issue here? Pardus was literally claiming to be a different species than he actually was. I mean, obviously housecats are domesticated. Is this crossing out of the homosexual allegory and into the racist allegory? I'm a little confused.
Anyway... like I said, this was just a little disappointing, if nothing else because we've seen Holbrook do these things so much better.
Posted by Eric Burns-White at 11:20 AM | Comments (4)
